When Not to Use Humor

May 15th, 2006 by George Gilbert

I often talk about using humor in situations to break the tension in a business setting. Quite often heated discussions break out and a humorous comment can be made to cool things down and put the discussion into perspective. But, there are times when humor should not be used. If you are the one being targeted with the serious discussion you may not want to reply with a humorous comment so that you don’t sound flippant angering the other person. The best thing to do is to listen and not interrupt. Let that person finish, many times they just need to vent, they feel they need to be heard. Cracking a joke may make things worse. Try to find something to agree about. Repeat part of their statement so that they are aware that you were listening.  Avoid negative or defensive responses. Don’t be accusatory. Even though you feel you were verbally attacked, don’t escalate the matter by being accusatory.

When using humor in such situations don’t be sardonic. Use a less sarcastic tone so as not to anger someone. Don’t poke fun at someone or their idea; you don’t want them to take the joke personally. Use more generic humor about the situation; the purpose here is to not be a comedian but to be part of the team.


Posted in Motivational Humor, Personal Development | No Comments »

Casual Friday - With Jokes Quotes and Anecdotes

May 12th, 2006 by George Gilbert

Thank you Gloria for submitting these:

For People who think too seriously! 

1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.
2. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Night.
3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.
4. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory.
5. 42.7 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The Spot.
6. 99 Percent Of Lawyers Give The Rest A Bad Name.
7. I Feel Like I’m Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe.
8. Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.
9. Remember, Half The People You Know Are Below Average.
10. He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest.
11. Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.
12. The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese.
13. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.
14. Support Bacteria. They’re The Only Culture Some People Have.
15. Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7 Of Your Week.
16. A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad Memory.
17. Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending Machines.
18. Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It’ll Be A Great Trade!
19. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.
20. Always Try To Be Modest, And Be Proud Of It!
21 If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing A Couple Of Car Payments.
22. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-kinesis? Raise My Hand.
23 . Ok, So What’s The Speed Of Dark?
24. How Do You Tell When You’re Out Of Invisible Ink?
25. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Have Obviously Overlooked
Something.
26. When Everything Is Coming Your Way, You’re In The Wrong Lane.
27. Hard Work Pays Off In The Future. Laziness Pays Off Now.
28. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Do Not Have Film.
29. If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends?
30. How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges?
31. Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Do Not Get Sucked Into Jet Engines.
32. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?
33. I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains Kept Falling Out.
34. I Couldn’t Repair Your Brakes, So I Made Your Horn Louder.
35. Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your Name?
36 Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger Person Wondering ‘what
Happened?’
37. Just Remember - If The World Did Not Suck, We Would All Fall Off.
38. Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which Is Why Some People Appear
Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.

Posted in Humor, Jokes, Quotes, Joke Quotes and Anecdotes | No Comments »

Humor and Leadership

May 8th, 2006 by George Gilbert

“A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

Do you have to have a sense of humor to be a leader? No. Hitler probably didn’t have much of a sense of humor. I doubt Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, or General Manuel Noriega ever said, “did you hear the one about…” and if they did tell a joke how would you like to be the person that didn’t laugh. What would happen to you? Dictators and terrorist don’t need to use humor to be a leader, they lead by fear. History shows that they may be successful for a short time, but they usually end up deposed or worse.

Most Democratic countries and successful businesses have leaders that not only have a sense of humor, but know how to capitalize on it. At President Ronald Reagans funeral President George H. W. Bush said, “Perhaps as important as anything. I learned a lot about humor, a lot about laughter.” We can all learn about humor in leadership from former President Reagan. Even his detractors acknowledged the effectiveness of his humor. When Reagan was shot, he helped put the whole country at ease when he joked with the surgeon prior to his surgery. “Please assure me that you are all Republicans?” and the surgeon replied, “Mr. President, today the entire country is Republican.” Reagan also joked with Nancy saying, “Honey, I forgot to duck.”

Abraham Lincoln said, “I have always believed that a good laugh was good for both the mental and physical digestion.” And John F. Kennedy was quoted with saying, “There are three things which are real: God, human folly, and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension. So we must do what we can about the third.”

So how can having a sense of humor help make one a better leader?

By not taking yourself too seriously people will take you more seriously. Employees tend to not take a manager or boss who is full of him or herself too seriously. If you act too self-important you are going to end up the butt of the joke losing credibility. Others will feel comfortable around you if you display a sense of humor.  Sometimes we become so serious on the job that others don’t want to work with us. Sometimes when we get a title in front of our name or a few letters after our name we become so self important that we create a negative environment. Does this mean you shouldn’t take your job and your responsibilities seriously? NO! Do the best job you can possibly do. But it does mean that you can still have fun while living up to your job and its responsibilities.

Maintaining a sense of humor can also help reduce stress around the office or in an important meeting. Humor and laughter can reduce stress, break the ice and help maintain a sense of calm in order to accomplish what must be done. There are always going to be stressful situations that is part of business, that is part of life, but the ability to find a little humor can help overcome the stress so that you and others can get down to what is really important. Stress can prevent people from being as productive and creative as they need to be in order to reach their goals. Comedian John Cleese said, “If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.”

Posted in Motivational Humor, Leadership, Humor, Creating a Fun Work Environment, Job Stress, Motivating employees, Personal Development | 1 Comment »

Professional Speakers Take Control of the Audience

May 3rd, 2006 by George Gilbert

A friend of mine called me the other day asking for some help with her contest speech. She is competing in Toastmasters “International Speech Contest.” An annual contest that is world wide starting in January and culminating at the World Championship in August.

She has made it to the District level which is all of Southern Nevada and all of Central California. If she wins District she will move on to the Region and then possibly the World Championship of Public Speaking in Washington D.C. Everyone from her home club has told her she has a great speech, but she needs “to learn to take control of the room before she starts her presentation like George does.”

I have competed many times in the past and others have observed that I get the audiences attention before I start to speak even before I am introduced. This is what entertainers call stage presence. Anyone can stand up in-front of an audience and tell jokes, give a speech, sing a song, but to be a professional entertainer, comedian, or speaker you have to have stage presence. This is what separates the amateurs from the professionals. Many call it the “it” factor. Do they have “it?” The question now is, is stage presence something that you can develop or are you born with it. Can Stage presence be taught? I believe yes and no.

I believe that you have to have “it” in you to begin with, but many need to be taught how to bring “it” out of them. When I first started I didn’t have stage presence, but I believe I had it in me. I was too nervous and inhibited, but I knew if I was going to make it in humor I would have to get over my nervousness and inhibitions.

The first step in developing stage presence is to get up in-front of an audience as often as possible. There is no substitution for stage time. You have to overcome stage freight. You have to overcome what comedians and entertainers refer to as “Flop Sweat.” This is that feeling you get when you are performing on stage and the audience is not responding to anything you are doing and you break out into a cold sweat. You may always be a little nervous on stage but you have to get it under control. The only way you can control nervousness on stage is by more “stage time.” If I go through a period of time where I haven’t been on stage as much as I am used to, I tend to feel more nervousness.

The second step is to know your material. If you are too busy trying to remember what you are trying to say you cannot possible have stage presence.  Knowing your material gives you the opportunity to concentrate on your delivery.

The third step is to dress just a little nicer than your audience. You want to be the focus of attention on stage. This goes back to dressing for success. If you are dressed too casually, the audience isn’t going to focus on you. I should say you don’t want to overdress either. Many entertainers wear a lot of flashy sequined outfits and that is ok for entertainers, but not for speakers. My friend Steve Pavlina who has a personal development blog also owned a computer game software company and when he would speak at computer conferences he said the audience wouldn’t listen to you if you were dressed in a suit and tie. There it is was better to wear a t-shirt and jeans, but for the most part you should dress just a little nicer than the audience

After you get over stage freight and you know your material then you can really learn how to develop your personality so that you can take control of the room. When I competed I liked to sit near the back near the exit. I would get nervous before a contest and want to pace or go to the bathroom. I didn’t want the audience seeing me get up a lot. I didn’t want to appear to the audience and especially the judges that I was nervous before I got up to speak.

Just before it was my turn to compete I would go over to get miked up, I would smile stand-up straight and walk with confidence. This is where I would start to settle down. I knew the audience shouldn’t see me looking nervous so I had to get my nerves under control. Taking a couple of deep breaths and standing up straight can help with that.

When the master of ceremonies (toastmaster) would start to introduce me, I would take one last sip of water so as to not have dry mouth when I spoke. When I was introduced I would walk a little faster than my normal walk with a big smile and look like I couldn’t wait to get up and speak. I walked and spoke with purpose. I would almost jump on the stage. Shake the toastmasters hand and then stand in front of the audience smile and make eye contact. One of the toughest things for most speakers is to just stand in front of the audience without saying anything. I would just stand there and let the applause die down. Only after the applause died would I go into my introduction. Standing in-front of the audience with out speaking shows confidence. It lets the audience get to know you. You want to make a good first impression. You want the impression to be of having fun and that you are confident. In the wild an animal can smell fear. The audience can also detect fear in a speaker. This can hurt your presentation. The audience isn’t going to listen to you, respect you if you appear too nervous. When I was doing stand-up comedy I noticed that the most successful comedians didn’t always have the best material, but the had the best delivery. If the comedian was confident the audience usually laughed, but if the comedian was nervous the audience didn’t laugh and even occasionally the comedian would get heckled.

I recently tried to give this advice to another competitor in the same contest. And she said her speech was too serious that she didn’t want the audience to think she was having fun. She lost. You can still give a very serious speech and show the audience that you enjoy speaking. You don’t have to be a grinning idiot just let the audience know you enjoy what you do.

Choreography is important. You don’t want to pace too much or just stand in one position the whole time you want to move with meaning. The trick is to make it look natural. I see too many speakers that are too choreographed and they don’t look natural when speaking. Their movements are stiff and it appears that they are thinking “when I say this, I will move my arm this way.” When I was in theater class the teacher would say a good set design is one where the audience doesn’t notice it. The same applies to your choreography, if the audience notices your gestures it may detract from your presentation.

The overall goal of taking control of the room is to be confident enough to be yourself in front of the audience, so that they focus on you and what you have to say.

Posted in Positive Thinking, Speaking, Professional Speaker, Personal Development, Speaking Tips | 2 Comments »

Laughter Therapy - Recieving Laughter

May 1st, 2006 by George Gilbert

“Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.” Max Eastman

My mother humorist Tulara Lee, recently spoke with me to two different audiences about laughter and longevity. This presentation is part of my “Take Two Laughs and Call me in the morning – Laughter is a Wellness Program Everyone Can Afford.” These two presentations were important because this was the first time she has spoken in front of an audience since having a Lobechtomy for Lung Cancer. I believe this is part of the healing process, mom has been a comedian and humorist for more than 60 years, and receiving laughter from the audience is something that has been a part of her life. To be able to hear the laughter again was therapeutic.  Afterward she was tired, but exhilarated. She felt like the healing process was now complete. There is something about making people laugh that is cathartic. I know the first time I spoke after mom’s surgery I too experienced a very positive feeling. 

Mom started out very strong. Right away she started getting laughs and this put her at ease. I know she was a little nervous about the first two presentations. She was worried about tiring two soon. When you put everything into a presentation delivery, gestures, it can wear you out especially if you haven’t been performing for awhile. I was nervous for her. She was worried that she would run out of breath. She has been little short of breath since the operation. In the middle of the presentation her mouth got a little dry and she started to cough. I was worried that she wouldn’t be able to stop coughing, but she took a sip of water and was able to continue without missing a step. I was also concerned about her losing her concentration after coughing, but it didn’t faze her and she continued where she left off. 

The reaction from the audience was so good for her. She received a standing ovation. I once had a conversation with a fellow speaker about being received by the audience and I told her, “you know how well your presentation went by how long it took you to leave the room.” The more people coming up to you to tell you that you were good is a good sign. Sometimes when you speak and no one talks to you afterward you feel that they may not have connected with you. Both nights it took mom a very long time before we could leave the room. People kept coming up to her and telling her how good she was and how much of an inspiration she is. This also is therapeutic when people complement you that is great, but when they tell you how much of an inspiration you are to them that is just the ultimate feeling. If the adreline from speaking wasn’t enough the comments afterward were just what she needed. 

For someone who isn’t used to speaking hearing laughter for the first time when giving a humorous presentation can start to put the novice speaker at ease, but for the old pro it gives them a sense of self worth. 

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Wellness, Speaking, Professional Speaker, coping with a serious illness, Personal Development | No Comments »

Casual Friday - Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes.

April 28th, 2006 by George Gilbert

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.” – Rodney Dangerfield
 

“Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.” - George Carlin
 

“First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.” – George Burns
 

“The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.”  -Marty Feldman
 

“If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.” - Dick Cavett
 

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” - Mel Brooks
 

“I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.” - Henny Youngman
 

“You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.” - Rowan Atkinson
 

“I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.”
- Gilda Radner
 

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
- Oscar Wilde
 

“He’s too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.”
- Neil Simon
 

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
- Dean Martin

Posted in Humor, Jokes, Joke Quotes and Anecdotes | No Comments »

How to tell a humorous Story

April 27th, 2006 by George Gilbert

The most effective form of humor to use in a speech is the HUMOROUS STORY or ANECDOTE. These forms of humor are easiest to perform because you don’t have to be a comedian to tell a story. You don’t have to tell a joke. You are relating a story that happened to you to make a point, and if it gets a laugh that is an extra benefit.

It is important to remember that the story you are relating to your audience has to pertain to the subject you are speaking about. There is nothing worse than a speaker telling a story that has no connection to the speech. The audience doesn’t want to sit there and hear about the time you …made a fool out of yourself, or what ever it was that you did unless there is a moral to the story. You will lose your audience if you get off the subject.

We all have had humorous experiences that we can use in a presentation. The trick to relaying it to your audience is to sit down and compose the experience just as you would the rest of your speech. Just because you lived the story doesn’t mean you are ready to deliver it. Write it and re-write it so that it has a beginning, middle, and an end and makes a point. You might even compose a punch line for your story to add to the humor. You can even take a little creative license to it as long as the facts are correct in order to make it entertaining. Composing your story helps you focus on how to tell it. I have seen speakers get up and stumble because they couldn’t remember important details that the audience needed to know in order for the story to make any sense. This also helps to get rid of audible pauses such as: Ah’s, you know, right. These words can detract from your overall presentation.

When telling a humorous story don’t ruin it by laughing at your own story. Some speakers remember what is coming and they start laughing in the middle of the story. The audience wasn’t there when the story occurred and they don’t know why you broke out in laughter and they start to lose interest and you start to lose credibility as a speaker.

The best part of telling your own story is that you don’t have to worry about another speaker telling the same story. You lived it. You own the story. Many speakers tell stories that have made the rounds. I have heard many speakers tell the “Starfish Story.”(The starfish story is about a child walking the beech at low tide throwing stranded starfish back in to the water. A man walks up to the child and says, “There are so many star fish you can’t possibly make a difference.” The child picks up another starfish and throws it back in the ocean. The child says, “I made a difference to that one.”) Meeting planners and speakers bureaus don’t want to hire speakers telling the same stories. What would happen if the speaker on the podium before you told the same story? Would you be able to tell a different story?

When funny things happen to you make a point of writing them down. Note all the facts and why it was funny. Sometimes when something funny happens we don’t take note of it right away and then we can’t remember why it was funny. Start thinking about how you can tell the story immediately so that you develop your humor writing skills. This will also help you develop your observational humor skills so that you can start to think funny. The minute you say “Someday we’re going to laugh at this.” Is the minute you should be trying to figure out how to relay it to an audience.

The world is full of funny stories. It is your job as a speaker to recognize the humor and value of the story as it occurs.

For more information on how to use humor in speaking check out Humorspeak.com and its blog Humor Speaking Tips


Posted in Speaking, Humor, Professional Speaker, Personal Development, Speaking Tips, story telling | 1 Comment »

Humor and Laughter in Stressful Situations

April 26th, 2006 by George Gilbert

“Comedy is tragedy plus time.” Carol Burnett

Have you ever been in a stressful situation or had an experience where you said, “Someday I’ll laugh about this.” Maybe the time to laugh about “this” is when you are experiencing the stressful situation. Experts tell us that laughter reduces stress so, if you can find the humor in it at the time it will help you cope and recover from the thing that is causing you stress. I realize this is hard to do, after all if it weren’t a stressful situation it would be easy to find the humor in it. But when you say, “someday I’ll laugh about this.” you have already acknowledged the fact that there is humor to be found in the situation. You just aren’t ready to take the next step and laugh while it is occurring.

Maybe we need to practice finding the humor in less stressful situations so that we get into the habit of finding humor when we need it most. Maybe we need to step back and look at it from someone else’s point of view. Humorist Will Rogers once said, “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.”   

Humor and Laughter is two fold. Humor gives us a different perspective about the stressful situation while laughter physically breaks the stress.  Humor is mental while laughter is physical. Both have benefits alone but together they combine to help us survive tough times.

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Wellness, Job Stress, Stress Reduction, Personal Development | 1 Comment »

From Stand-up to Stand-Out - Know Your Audience

April 25th, 2006 by George Gilbert

Different audiences process information differently. Bob Hope was known for his machine gun style delivery, where he would talk very fast telling joke after joke. This worked for him usually, but in different parts of the country he didn’t do so well when he first started because the audience couldn’t keep up with his fast pace. In the biography “Bob Hope A Tribute” by Raymond Strait Bob had a tough time in Texas.

Bob Hope did so poorly he told the unit manager, “Get me the hell out of here on the first train. I want to go back to the United States.”

Bob O’Donnell, an unpretentious guy who seemed to hang around the wings while the acts were performing, came back to the dressing room and asked Hope, “Hey fancy pants, what’s the problem?”

If I wanted to play to foreigners I’d go to Africa. I’m not for these people. That’s what’s the matter!”

O’Donnell laughed out loud. “Son,” he said, ‘you’re in Texas. Don’t talk so fast. These folks can’t understand a word you say. Relax. It’s summertime. Ain’t nobody goin’ anywhere. So take your time. You’ll be all right.”

Bob O’Donnell was the head of the International Vaudeville Circuit.

“O’Donnell taught him a very critical lesson in comedy. “Know your audience. Sometimes it don’t pay to rush things. Don’t be in such a hurry,” he said, “Let the audience catch up to you.”

Bob Hope took his advice and the second show was much more successful.

Posted in Humor, Jokes, Personal Development, Speaking Tips | No Comments »

Laughter Therapy - Coping in Stressful Situations

April 24th, 2006 by George Gilbert

Robin Williams was asked in a recent interview, in the April 2006 Reader’s Digest, “Do you ever use humor as a weapon?” His response was, “Oh, big time. It’s a great defense and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn’t too happy about it, but the people around are laughing.”

Humor can be used as a weapon. As much as we would like to believe that old saying when we were kids, “Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” The truth of the matter is words can be very hurtful, not only can humor be used to embarrass someone, but can also undermine one’s credibility. Please be very careful when using humor. Just like a comedian should know his audience so should anyone using humor. Know the person you are using humor with. With certain friends putdown humor is perfectly acceptable, but with others it may not be. They may take offence to it.

When Reader’s Digest asked Robin Williams about humor having healing powers, he replied, “Healing isn’t the word. Therapeutic maybe, or cathartic. After being in extreme situations, it kind of brings you back to life.” I have a friend that works for a non-profit agency. Just working for this organization one would consider giving back to the community, but J.J. does much more. He volunteers much of his vacation time every year to help children at camp. Some camps host cancer kids, some host burn victim children and other kids with challenges. This can’t be an easy thing to do. Many of these kids have very special needs that J.J. and the other volunteers have to cater to, and yet make these kids camp experience as normal as possible. At the end of the week when the kids have left camp J.J. and his buddies get together to smoke a cigar, possibly have an adult beverage and joke about some of the things that had happened over the last week. Much of the humor is very dark or morbid; a lot of it is put down humor. They start making fun of each other all in jest and not used as a “weapon” but as a coping device. Meanwhile there is another group of volunteers that sit around and share touching stories, making each other cry. This is their way of coping with working with special needs kids. Once the group that shares the touching stories finally made J.J.’s group sit with them. This was a big mistake. The touchy feely group was a little offended by the humor that they used. Was the humor meant to be hurtful? NO. Everyone has their own way of coping with stressful situations and one should not be forced to participate in a way that is not therapeutic to them.

Both groups of people help these kids. Both make a difference in the lives of these kids. But each group has their way of coping. We should not judge the ones that use dark humor for coping after all they care just as much as the other group. Many people that deal with life and death on a daily basis develop a “Dark” or “Morbid” sense of humor. The Paramedics, the doctors and nurses, police officers, firefighter, and military personnel quite often use humor that would offend someone that doesn’t have to deal with the tragedy’s that they deal with on an hourly basis. I once attended a police officers briefing before they went out on patrol. The sergeant was poking fun at the way one of his officers found a dead body. To many this might have seamed insensitive but they see this kind of tragedy everyday. Humor reduces the stress of their everyday lives.

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Wellness, Job Stress, Stress Reduction | 2 Comments »

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