To Tease Or Not To Tease?

June 12th, 2006 by George Gilbert

We are told that teasing is wrong, but in reality everyone teases someone. Whether it’s a little adlib joke or a sophisticated practical joke everyone teases. Much of humor today is based on some form of tease. Making fun of someone or joking about somebody is a form of teasing. It is part of human nature. In school, boys will tease girls and girls will tease boys many times it is because one likes the other. Even though it is hurtful this is their way of trying to communicate to the one they like. When someone gets thrown out in a baseball game or fumbles the ball in a football game their teammates will tease the player. Have you ever reminded a friend of something embarrassing that they did? That is a form of teasing. I don’t know anyone who can honestly say they haven’t teased someone. It may be politically incorrect to say teasing is alright, but in reality we all do it.

If everyone teases rather than condemn “teasing” maybe we should put down rules to teasing.

  1. Don’t get too personal. Teasing someone about a physical challenge or an emotional situation, should probably be off limits.

  1. Don’t embarrass someone in front of a superior. This can undermine someone’s credibility and hurt their career chances.

  1. Refrain from personal embarrassing attacks in front of someone that person is trying to impress. Just because you might think its funny this could have an adverse affect on a relationship.

  1. Know when to stop. If you see the person you are targeting with your humor is getting upset stop. Why risk losing a friend over a joke. The joke might have been funny the first time, but after five or six times it gets old and can be hurtful.

  1. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if you were targeted with a personal attack in the name of humor? We all know how hurtful a joke can be.

Poking fun at your friends is part of our human nature. In many cases its part of the bonding experience, a mild form of hazing. When that targeted person can laugh at himself they become part of the group.

I am not condemning “teasing” I am just reminding you to remember to not take “teasing” too far.

Casual Friday - Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes. Business

June 9th, 2006 by George Gilbert

“A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.” - Howard Scott

“I’m spending a year dead for tax reason.” – Douglas Adams

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

“Only one thing is impossible for God: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.” – Mark Twain

“The definition of a consultant: Someone who borrows, your watch, tells you the time and then charges you for the privilege.” - Anonymous

“In the business world an executive knows something about everything, a technician knows everything about something and the switchboard operator knows everything.” – Harold Coffin

“The first rule of business is: Do other men for they would do you.” – Charles Dickens

“He ended the job as he began it; fired with enthusiasm.” – Don O’Shaughnessy

“They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it’s very busy, when they have one.” – Rita Rudner

“If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was smarter.” Albert Grant

Dress to Kill (With Laughter)

June 8th, 2006 by George Gilbert

Many speakers today make the mistake of believing dress is not important. Not dressing appropriately can send a subtle message to the audience that they don’t matter. While you don’t want to be extremely over or under dressed, the norm for any speech is to dress just a little bit better than your audience. If you show up in casual attire to a black tie event, it shows a lack of respect for the audience who in turn is not going to respect you as a speaker.

 

It is also important not to dress funnier than your speech. I know of a comedian who came out in a pink tuxedo with pink shorts. The audience laughed for five minutes but the rest of his presentation flopped because no matter what he said he could not top his appearance.

I have seen speakers make this same mistake. They feel they have to come out in a funny costume or crazy hat to be funny. This looks amateurish. It might get a chuckle or two but usually detracts from the overall message the presenter is trying to make. If a funny costume is appropriate for you presentation, make sure the speech can top it.

 

 

4 Steps to Taming the Stage Fright Demons

June 7th, 2006 by George Gilbert

Everyone gets a little nervous before they speak. It’s normal. When you are about to go on stage you adrenaline starts pumping, you start feeling butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, dry throat, etc. In order to be funny you can’t let those feelings take over your body. So, how do you control that fear of getting on stage?

First – Preparation

The more you prepare your presentation the more relaxed you will be. When you have done your homework and know your material thoroughly it makes it easier to concentrate when the pressure is on. Think about those times in school when you didn’t study for an exam and made it much harder to concentrate. Speaking and doing humor is not much different.

Second – Stage Time

Nothing beats the jitters as much as getting up in front of an audience whenever you can. The more you subject yourself to an audience the easier it becomes. Think about something you tried it the easier it got. Speaking is the same. First time nerves tend to go away with experience. That’s why adrenaline junkies have to keep trying new and dangerous challenges. They are continually searching for that nervous rush (I guess some people enjoy that feeling.)

Third – Know Your Audience

I talked earlier about the importance of knowing your audience when preparing your humor. The more you know your audience, then the more your humor ill connect with them, and the easier it will be to get up in front of them.

Fourth – Relaxation Techniques

As you get up in front of an audience more you will start to develop your own techniques for relaxing. For some, taking deep breathes calms them. For others, alternating clenching and releasing their muscles does the trick. I tend to pace to get rid of nervous energy. Although, as an after dinner speaker, that can be difficult sometimes. Quite often I am sitting up at the head table and can’t excuse myself to go and pace. The good news is as long as I am prepared and have done my homework I don’t have the need to pace as much. And even though I tend to get nervous before I go on, once I am in front of the audience I start to relax.

When doing humor it is important to show a certain amount of confidence. In comedy clubs the audience can sense when a new comic is nervous and they react negatively. As a speaker you most likely won’t be heckled because you are nervous but an obvious lack of confidence makes it tougher to win the audience over and get them to laugh at your jokes.

Smile And The World Smiles With You.

June 5th, 2006 by George Gilbert

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” – Mother Teresa

There is an elderly gentleman in my neighborhood who sits at the edge of his garage every day. He smiles and waves to everyone passing by. If your window is down he says, “Hello,” or “Have a nice day.”  This seems like such an insignificant thing, but I look forward to seeing him out there, and on those days that I don’t see him it seems that I have missed something.

I think this world would be a better world if everyone smiled and waived to each other. I was walking from the parking area to my condo last night, when I walked by a lady going in the opposite direction. I smiled and said, “Hello.” She didn’t bother to look up or respond she just kept walking like she couldn’t be bothered.

These two people live in the same neighbor hood and yet two totally different attitudes. The elderly man appears to be happy and outgoing while the lady appears to be unhappy.

How many people do you walk by and yet they never make any kind of eye contact? Have we become a society of untrusting people? Are we too self involved that we can’t even take the time to smile and say hello? Do you smile and say hello or are you one of those that won’t look up when passing by someone?

Even in a place of business less and less people greet me with a smile. I would think that this would be foremost in job training. Teaching their employees to smile and greet the customer. And when they do it seems so forced, so phony. They are only communicating with the customer because they have to.

I must look like a grinning idiot to many people. I tend to smile a lot and say hello to most people. I love to make people smile.

Try this, for the next week every time somebody walks by you smile at them and say, “hello.” See how many people smile back. Who knows maybe you will make a new friend.

Don’t let the News Depress You! Find More Humor In Your Life.

May 30th, 2006 by George Gilbert

“Everybody’s always drumming on about the future but I’m not letting it interfere with my laughs.” - John Lennon

You can really get depressed by watching the news. Very seldom do the headlines ever report something positive. Good news seems to be reserved for the fluff pieces, if they have time for it. You can miss two or three days of news, and with the exception of a major tragedy, the news is the same. Someone was shot during a robbery, another person was killed in a car accident, a politician is in trouble and there will always be a major drug bust. The names, addresses and dates may change, but the subjects don’t. When ever a reporter says “the index shows…..” you know the economy is going bad. Even when the economy is going good they are reporting it to go bad soon.

We have created a society of cynical, worrisome, negative thinking people. There have always been complaints that the press doesn’t report enough good news, but the truth is we feed off negativity. Ratings don’t go up when the headline reads “Corporate America did something good for the consumer.” The Nielsen ratings sky rocket when we have a corporate scandal like Enron and what is even better for the networks is when there is government corruption.

It doesn’t matter who is in the White House, Democrat or Republican, the Washington Press Corp. is going to find some sort of scandal, government corruption, or indicators show the president’s popularity is low.

So how do we get away from the negativity? Don’t focus your life around the daily news. Remember we may not be able to control what is on the news or what is happening around the world today, but we can control our own lives. Most of what we see on CNN and FOX News doesn’t really affect our daily lives unless we let it. Try missing the news once in awhile, it will still be there when ever you need to know what is going on in the world.  Find positive things to read about and ADD MORE HUMOR to your life.

Instead of spending that half hour watching your local news switch to a station that has a sitcom running during that time. You will probably digest your dinner better laughing at an episode of “Friends” or “That Seventies Show” rather than looking at death and violence on the news.

Make a point of putting more humor in your life. Watch more comedies, read the comic strip in the paper, look at the humorous forwards from friends and coworkers don’t let the new get you down. Unless you can actually go out and change what is happening on the news don’t get too caught up in it. Laugh more. Turn off the news and sit around with your family sharing humor, playing fun games, or whatever you do to put more laughter in your life.
It is amazing how the news anchor will show all this death and destruction and at the end of thirty straight minutes of it they will smile and say “Have a nice day.”

Have a nice day and don’t take the news too seriously.

Teambuilding and the Gossip

May 22nd, 2006 by George Gilbert

I help companies with teambuilding. My objective is to help them create a fun team atmosphere with humor. Creating a fun work environment with humor can bring people together as a team.

The best way to ruin the team spirit is a gossip. You know the type; they are always in everybody’s business, having to know where everybody is and what they are doing. They go around telling everyone that someone left early, that person A is seeing person B in the finance department and generally getting other people in trouble. They go and tell someone’s superiors that that person isn’t getting their work done. Dividing the team.

The gossip creates an atmosphere of distrust among the team. The good team members feel that they always have to look over their shoulder to see if someone is spying on them. Not only is it NOT the gossips job to police everyone else, but it is none of their business. Most of the time the gossip doesn’t really know what they are talking about. Because they are snooping around they usually only get part of the story and then they add their own interpretation to it. The gossip can ruin someone’s chance of promotion, career and even personal and/or profession life.

There is a difference between a Gossip and two people sitting down and venting about something or someone in the office. Sometimes two members of the team will have an issue with someone and rather than blow it out of proportion they will sit down and vent to one another about the subject. This is done with two people who know each other well and can trust each other to keep it to themselves.

A good team leader will put an end to the gossip. One way to do this is for the team leader to say to the gossip, “you seem to have a lot of time on your hands I have a few projects I could use some help with”, until the gossip is so busy that they don’t have time to pry into others business. Another way is to check up on the gossip and make sure that they are getting all of their work done. Quite often the gossip complains about everyone else’s lack of  production, when they are the one not getting anything done. Sometimes the team leader must be blunt and tell gossip it isn’t their job police everyone else.

Stop the gossip and you will have a more cohesive team.

Casual Friday - With Jokes Quotes and Anecdotes

May 19th, 2006 by George Gilbert

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.
– Adrienne Gusoff 

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
– Albert Einstein 

You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
– Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.”
– Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
– Anonymous 

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.
– Cher 
 

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.
– Dudley Moore  

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
– Erma Bombeck

It is impossible to love and be wise.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.– Francis BaconMarriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.
– Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.– Fulton J. SheenMen are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
– George Carlin
Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.

Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.– Groucho Marx Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

– Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.
And she never did.
– James Fineous McBride 

It’s been so long since I made love,
I can’t even remember who gets tied up.
– Joan Rivers 
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
– Lily Tomlin
The only people who make love all the time are liars.
– Louis Jordan

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a The only people who make love all the time are liars.baby.
– Natalie WoodLove is a grave mental disease.
– PlatoWhenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my Love is a grave mental disease.
children to spend their weekends with?
– Rita Rudner All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
– Shelley Winters

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
– Steve Martin

 

 

Overcoming Lifes Challenges - Speaking to the Blind

May 17th, 2006 by George Gilbert

I just read where a double amputee climbed Mount Everest. It wasn’t all that long ago climbing Mount Everest was thought to be impossible. It wasn’t until Sir Edmund Hillary conquered Mount Everest in 1953. And now many people have reached the summit including Erik Weihenmeyer the first blind climber to reach the top. It seems the only limitations that we have are those that we bring on ourselves.
 

There have been several Track and Field athletes who overcame crippling diseases like polio only to go on to win gold medals in the Olympics. Doctors didn’t give them much chance to walk let alone run, but they didn’t let others set limitations for them.
 

My grandfather lived during a time of great accomplishment. He saw man transition from horse and buggy to the automobile. A time when the Wright Brothers were dreaming of flight to Linbergh crossing the Atlantic to Neil Armstrong walking on the moon.  As a boy before radios first broadcast to a senior citizen watching on television Neil Armstrong take that first step.
 

All these accomplishments were realized because someone decided that it was possible. The only thing getting in the way of you accomplishing something is your own negativity. If you believe you can’t accomplish something you will fulfill your own destiny.
 

This was part of a presentation I gave to the Blind Center of Nevada yesterday. This was one of the most rewarding presentations I have given in along time. After this short little introduction I opened the room up for discussion. The group was passionate, energetic, and almost everyone had something to say. My goal was to get everyone to get out of their comfort zones and to try something that they have wanted to try, but were afraid to. I didn’t encourage them to climb their Mount Everest, but to start with smaller goals and work up to the big challenges.

One gentleman had been inspired by Jim Abbott the baseball player and how he had to overcome having only one hand and yet still making it to the major leagues as a pitcher for the Angels. He had to learn to throw and catch a baseball with only one hand. He would throw the ball,  slip his glove on in the same movement so that he could catch the ball and then take off the glove to throw the ball to first base.

After hearing that story another participant told the story of how he played softball in the Blind Olympics and won a gold medal. They play with a ball that makes a sound so that they can find it. He was very proud of this. He said, he gets mad when someone threatens to punish him for trying something. The blind want to do as many things as possible with out help and sometimes when they try they feel like they are being punished.

Another lady told be that she hates it when people say, “You can’t do that.” She said, “How do they know I can’t until I try.”

When I was a teenager my parent’s were always getting after me for saying, “I can’t” to everything. Before I would even try I would say, “I can’t” or “I don’t want to.” This kind of negative thinking really puts restraints on you.

One lady said she wanted to start her own business educating the medical profession on how to treat the blind. She said, when a nurse calls your name at a doctors office to go back and see the doctor she will stand at the door and call out the name, but a blind person doesn’t know where the door is and will get up searching for the door tripping over other peoples feet trying to find the door.

Just then another lady said, “Yes, when I was in the hospital they would bring my food and put it on the table and not tell me. It would sit there and get cold. Someone else would come into the room and ask me how come I didn’t eat. I didn’t even know it had been delivered.”

Deb. the one coordinating the group said, before Maureen Keene (volunteers with communication classes) and I started coming to the group she was very introverted and spoke softly, but now she speak as an advocate to the blind. She got out of her comfort zone for her speaking was her Mount Everest.

Times have changed from when the blind were institutionalized or standing on the corner with a white cane begging for money. Today the blind can do many tasks and function quite well in a sited world and all they ask is that we treat them with the same respect of a sighted  person, are patient with them and assist them when needed.

When Not to Use Humor

May 15th, 2006 by George Gilbert

I often talk about using humor in situations to break the tension in a business setting. Quite often heated discussions break out and a humorous comment can be made to cool things down and put the discussion into perspective. But, there are times when humor should not be used. If you are the one being targeted with the serious discussion you may not want to reply with a humorous comment so that you don’t sound flippant angering the other person. The best thing to do is to listen and not interrupt. Let that person finish, many times they just need to vent, they feel they need to be heard. Cracking a joke may make things worse. Try to find something to agree about. Repeat part of their statement so that they are aware that you were listening.  Avoid negative or defensive responses. Don’t be accusatory. Even though you feel you were verbally attacked, don’t escalate the matter by being accusatory.

When using humor in such situations don’t be sardonic. Use a less sarcastic tone so as not to anger someone. Don’t poke fun at someone or their idea; you don’t want them to take the joke personally. Use more generic humor about the situation; the purpose here is to not be a comedian but to be part of the team.