George Gilbert’s Motivational Humor

Sometimes people will tell me “that’s not positive thinking” when I am being realistic.  I think that those who use positive thinking and aren’t realistic are in denial. I am a very positive thinker, but I don’t like to fool myself into thinking that something will be alright? when I know that if I don’t do something about it there is no chance of it (what ever it is) will be alright. I recently did a presentation on the difference between dreams and Goals. I said that a dream is something you want like a goal, but the difference is a dream is something that you talk about but never do much about it until one day you wake up and realize the dream is over. A goal is something that you want, but unlike a deam you do more than talking about it. You plan, you follow through on those plans, and you make adjustments until you attain that goal. Both involve positive thinking, but with a dream there is no follow through. Also, a goal must be realistic. If your goal is to sing on American idol and you have never sung in public and don’t know how, then before setting that goal you would need to know if you can sing on key. I would set smaller goals along with the big goal. Take singing lessons. Learn to sing on key, develop your voice, even dance lessons to learn to move, start singing in front of audiences so that when you went to audition for American Idol you not only knew how to sing, but could overcome the stage fright of auditioning in front of the judges.

When I decided to switch from Stand-up comedy to Motivational Humorist, I didn’t just announce to the world one day that I am now a professional speaker. I started completely over. I decided to not use my old material from my stand-up comedy days instead I completely scrapped the act. I joined toastmasters to make sure I learned the basic difference of speaking as opposed to just stand-up comedy. I started developing material with speaking in mind. I started entering speech contests to put more pressure on me as a speaker. I attained some lofty goals in the Toastmaster Organization reaching the pinnacle for a Toastmaster who wanted to speak professionally “Accredited speaker” I used positive thinking, but I had a plan to go with it. Where many positive thinkers go wrong is that they think positively about becoming something, but they don’t engage in an action plan that will get them to the manifestation of that positive thought.

Positive thinkers become pessimists at the first sign of trouble because they didn’t have a plan. They didn’t set realistic goals for themselves and failed on such a large scale that they gave up and never tried again. On the other side of it those that set more realistic goals and continue to conquer them not only stay more focused, but because they were more realistic they learned from their mistakes to better themselves to achieve the next time.

When I talk about how to put humor in presentations, I tell audiences what the single most important lessons the old comedians would teach me backstage on the shows that my parents were performing. “before you can be good you have to be bad”  the old time comedians new something about perseverance. “before you can be good you have to be bad”  That doesn’t sound like a positive thinker. In fact, if a positive thinker in denial heard that they would consider that to be a negative statement. Why cant you be good from the beginning they might say. The old comedians new that to really achieve greatness you had to learn from your mistakes and perfect your craft. They knew how to respond when the joke wasn’t working.  Why? Because they would break their in their jokes and routines at smaller theaters so when they played the “Palace” in New York or any other top theater they would succeed.

The late Johnny Carson was the master of failing. When a joke didn’t get a laugh, Johnny didn’t miss a beat. His come backs would get more laughs than many comedians would get with their best material. Why? He continually worked hard at his craft and didn’t panic and learned not to give up. This is something that comes with experience. Johhny probably failed many times on shows starting out, but that’s where he learned his craft.

A positive thinker who is in denial fails because they didn’t plan how to over come the challenges when presented. A positive thinker who is realistic succeeds because the learn from their mistakes and improve upon them to continue on their quest to reach their goals.

“The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.” - Chamfort

Experts tell us that as children we used to laugh on the average of 150 times a day, up to 400 times a day, but by the age of thirty-five we laugh on the average of 15 to 17 times a day. What has happened? We take laughter for granted. Doctor Albert Schweitzer didn’t take laughter for granted. When Albert Schweitzer had his hospital in the middle of the African jungle, he made a point of having dinner with his staff every night so that he could tell them a joke or a humorous story. Something to make them laugh because he knew if he could make his staff laugh they could handle the stress of working under such terrible conditions, day after day, with so many sick people. Albert Schwitzer said, “Laughter is the nutrient of the spirit.”

I don’t have to go to the African jungle to find stress, But I do understand the importance of laughter. I suggest you make a point of finding more humor in your life so that you don’t waste another day.

I recently spoke at the National ADP convention at the Venetian. One of the questions that came up was, “How do I get a co-worker with no sense of humor to laugh?” Someone in the audience suggested it starts with a smile. They are absolutely correct. Victor Borge once said “A smile is the closest distance between two people.” Before you try and make them laugh, see if you can get them to smile. Start by smiling at them. If they smile back you have made the first step. Second, ask them questions that will trigger a positive response. When my grandfather was in a retirement home my mother would go and visit. She would ask many of the residents, “How are you today?” They would reply, “I don’t feel well” or “My arthritis is acting up.” So my mother changed her questions to something positive, “Don’t you look beautiful today.” They would then smile and respond in a positive way, “Thank you, I just had my hair done.”

So start asking questions that will get a positive response and put that person in a good mood. Once they are answering questions positively it will be easier to inject humor into the conversation. It is also important to remember that everyone has their own sense of humor and what might make you laugh will not seem funny to someone else. Try to find out what the other person’s interests are and then it will be easier to find out what they find funny. When we say someone doesn’t have a sense of humor it usually means they don’t laugh at our jokes or find funny what we find funny, but there are also those who don’t want to laugh. The most important thing to remember is to keep your sense of humor. Don’t let those around you get you down. Just because they don’t want to enjoy life doesn’t mean you don’t have to.

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Change, uncertainty, the unknown. These words can cause one to stress out. Whether in your professional life or your personal life the fear of the unknown can create stress. This is when we need to keep our sense of humor most. It is easy to laugh when everything is cheery, but it is self-preserving to be able to laugh when the feelings of fear start to take effect. Abraham Lincoln understood the importance of laughter and coping when he said, “With the fearful strain that is one night and day; if I did not laugh I should die.”

Laughter can help us cope with the tension of not knowing what is next. Maintaining a sense of humor can help put the situation in perspective. Next time you are starting to stress out about the unknown ask yourself or those around you that are starting to stress out “What is the worst that can happen?” and give as many outrageous or ridiculous answers as you can come up with. Pretty soon you will be laughing at the outlandish responses. Quite often it is our anticipation of the unknown that causes anxiety rather than the actual occurrence. Dr. David B Posen, author of “Staying Afloat When the Water Gets Rough: How to Live in a Rapidly Changing World” said, “Humor isn’t about changing what happens. It’s about changing our reaction to what happens. And those who use humor as a coping strategy are generally more resilient and adaptable when faced with change.”

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Many people die at twenty five and aren’t buried until they are seventy five. ~ Benjamin Franklin

One of the comedy teams of the late 1930’s and early 1940’s was a team called Olsen and Johnson. They were in a very popular show of the time called “Hellzapoppin.”  Olsen and Johnson ended each show with Ole Olsen saying, “May you live as long as you want.” And Chic Johnson would reply, “And may you laugh as long as you live.” I believe the way to live as long as you want is to live life to the fullest, enjoy life, and as Johnson said, “…laugh as long as you live.” The more we find the humor in our life the better the quality of our life. There are studies indicating that laughter may help us live longer. And as my mother Tulara Lee comedienne and motivational humorist says, “If you don’t laugh life will only seem longer!” 

Even if laughter doesn’t help us live longer incorporating humor and laughter into our daily life will at the very least make life more enjoyable, rewarding and able to cope with the daily onslaught of life’s challenges. A little laughter therapy can go along way. Living longer is almost everyone’s goal but more importantly is the quality of our life that determines how long we want to live. I see people going through life’s motions and not really living to their potent ional. These people aren’t happy and don’t have an optimistic view of the world or themselves. It’s a shame that they let the world beat them down to the point where they never look for the joy in their being. They have lost the will to create a positive and happy existence. My mother is 83 years young. She has been making audiences laugh for more than 60 years. The last several years she has been speaking to organization with me about laugher and longevity. These audiences are surprised when I reveal at the end of her speech that mom is actually 83 years old. She is a very optimistic and humorous person onstage and off. Even though she has been diagnosed with cancer, she is optimist and humorous and jokes that she doesn’t have time for it, because she has too many things to do and too many things that she hasn’t done yet. Many people upon hearing that they have a serious illness tend to accept the fact that they are sick and give up. They lose their optimism; they lose their humor, and give into the disease. I believe this makes healing that much harder because they don’t have the will to fight it or live.

So as Olsen and Johnson said, “may you live as long as you want to. And may you laugh as long as you live!”

Today my mother Tulara Lee saw a Cardiovascular Specialist about her lung cancer and even though the news wasn’t good it wasn’t all bad. Obviously to hear you have about a golf ball size tumor that is most likely malignant isn’t something that you are going to celebrate, but the doctor was confident that if it turns out to be malignant they can go in and surgically remove it with a full recovery.

The optimism of the doctor gave us both hope, but what really helped mom cope with the news was the doctor’s sense of humor. Upon learning that mom had been in comedy all her life and now a motivational humorist he felt comfortable using humor during the examination, helping put us both at ease. The doctor and my mother joked back and forth creating a positive rapport.

The doctor examined her, then went and started to write down his findings. He said, “I’ll be right with you. I need to write this down. I have a great memory; it’s just a short one.” Mom laughed. He also joked with her about her age and what good shape she is in for age.

After we left the doctor’s office she was relieved. She was optimistic and ready to get on with the treatment. I don’t think she would have been so positive had she not liked the doctor. If the doctor didn’t have a humorous bedside manner she wouldn’t have wanted to face a major operation. Henry Ward Beecher said, “Mirth is God’s medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it.”

I have found that when the doctor has a sense of humor it creates a positive rapport. When my ex-wife was sick and needing a kidney/pancreas transplant the doctors that she responded to more positively were ones that had a sense of humor. Sharing humor creates a bond between two people and this is especially important when a person has a major health problem. Humor puts the patient at ease. Again it goes back to attitude. Bill Cosby once said, “You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything….You can survive it.” That is exactly what she intends to do. Survive it. Mom says she has too many things to do to let this get the best of her. I believe with that attitude she will be just fine. After all, she is booked to speak a little over two months after her scheduled operation and mom is from old show business and their motto is “THE SHOW MUST GO ON!!!”

“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine” Lord Byron

Even though we are still waiting for more tests to be scheduled so, that we can proceed with the proper medical treatment for my mother’s lung cancer. We are not sitting around waiting to get started with her laughter therapy. That’s right, I said, laughter therapy. I hooked up a VCR for her so that she could watch our old comedy videos that we don’t have on DVD. Videos from old time comedies like Laurel and Hardy to the English comedy of Benny Hill. These are some of her favorite comedians. No matter how many times she watches Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy get into “another fine mess!” or Benny Hill and his bawdy humor, they make her laugh.  The goal for watching the humor videos at this point is to keep mom in the proper frame of mind. The last thing I want her to do especially at this stage, when we don’t have enough information about how serious her condition is or what steps we have to take for treatment is to be sick with worry. Incorporating laughter therapy to reduce the stress of the unknown can alleviate what I call the “woe is me” syndrome.

Whatever challenges you may be experiencing whether it’s an illness, psychological or, professional problem, humor can help you cope with the stress we put on ourselves keeping us from overcoming the challenge.

Everyone has their own sense of humor. Because mom was regarded as one of the funniest comedy/variety acts of her day she appreciates the old comedians and how hard they worked to perfect their craft. Many people don’t respect Benny Hill, they think he is corny, but he worked very hard to make his routines look easy. When I need some laughter therapy I may watch the old comedies or I may put in a new comedy. The other day I watched the “Wedding Crashers” with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. This movie is hilarious and I laughed out loud, but this isn’t the type of movie my mother would enjoy and therefore wouldn’t be therapeutic for her. When you need to apply laughter therapy put you favorite comedy in the DVD player or VCR and Laugh, Laugh, Laugh! Remember the old saying Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.

The other day my mother, humorist Tulara Lee, was diagnosed with lung cancer. This took both of us by surprise. Mom never smoked a day in her life. She is in great shape for someone in her eighty’s, she walks a mile everyday weather permitting and had no obvious symptoms of the disease. Mom went to the doctor for a referral for a dermatologist and because she was running a slight fever, which turned out to be a bladder infection, the doctor ordered some tests. The X-ray came back with a spot on her lung. After the CT scan we found out it was lung cancer.

After hearing such depressing news one would not think I would be writing an article on humor, but humor therapy is exactly what we used to get over the shock. Upon leaving the Doctors office we went to the movies. No we weren’t in denial and acted as if nothing happened. We went to the movies so that we could immediately start the healing process. You may be thinking, how is going to the movies going to cure cancer. I’m not here to say that we went to the movies to cure her cancer, however studies are showing that laughter may help prevent cancer, but I don’t have enough evidence of that to write about it yet. We went to the movies to put our minds in the proper frame of mind. I took mom to Mel Brooks’ “The Producers” a musical comedy. It was just what the doctor ordered. Mom laughed for more than two hours. The laughter therapy worked she no longer felt hopeless. Laughter can be cathartic. Laughter can cleans the body of the negative emotions that put us into a state of feeling hopeless. Comedian Henny Youngman (the king of the one-liners) said, “The definition of a cure is what a doctor does to a disease while killing the patient” When dealing with a serious illness doctors quite often only concentrate on the disease and not the patient’s emotions. I think that is why drug companies and doctors distribute prescriptions that may cure the disease but leaves the patient with a multitude of other health and emotional problems. I believe it is as important to treat the disease as well as the patience attitude. Dr. Hunter “Patch” Adams said, “Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.” Patch Adams uses humor therapy to help his patients.  To learn more about Patch Adams I suggest the book “Gesundheit!” By Patch Adams with Maureen Mylander or the movie Patch Adams starring Robin Williams. On the way home from the movie mom needed to stop at the grocery store, while there we kept up with the laughter by using gallows humor. Mom picked up a carton of milk and started to put it into grocery cart. I laughingly said, “Just because you may have lung cancer doesn’t mean you still don’t have to check the expiration date on the carton.” She laughed and said, “I have so much confidence about surviving this I’m even going to by green bananas.” Laughter in whatever form can help you cope with life’s challenges. As a motivational humorist my goal is not to just educate others about the benefits of humor but to practice what I preach. Of course we are taking the illness seriously, but we are using humor to keep our spirits up and put her in the proper frame of mind so that if healing can begin it will. Mom will have her pity parties and I will have mine and sometimes we will have pity parties together, but laughter can help keep the pity parties from becoming depressions detrimental to her attitude and her health. This isn’t the first time we have used humor to cope with a serious illness in our family and it won’t be the last time.