George Gilbert’s Motivational Humor

“Everybody’s always drumming on about the future but I’m not letting it interfere with my laughs.” - John Lennon

You can really get depressed by watching the news. Very seldom do the headlines ever report something positive. Good news seems to be reserved for the fluff pieces, if they have time for it. You can miss two or three days of news, and with the exception of a major tragedy, the news is the same. Someone was shot during a robbery, another person was killed in a car accident, a politician is in trouble and there will always be a major drug bust. The names, addresses and dates may change, but the subjects don’t. When ever a reporter says “the index shows…..” you know the economy is going bad. Even when the economy is going good they are reporting it to go bad soon.

I just read where a double amputee climbed Mount Everest. It wasn’t all that long ago climbing Mount Everest was thought to be impossible. It wasn’t until Sir Edmund Hillary conquered Mount Everest in 1953. And now many people have reached the summit including Erik Weihenmeyer the first blind climber to reach the top. It seems the only limitations that we have are those that we bring on ourselves.
 

There have been several Track and Field athletes who overcame crippling diseases like polio only to go on to win gold medals in the Olympics. Doctors didn’t give them much chance to walk let alone run, but they didn’t let others set limitations for them.
 

My grandfather lived during a time of great accomplishment. He saw man transition from horse and buggy to the automobile. A time when the Wright Brothers were dreaming of flight to Linbergh crossing the Atlantic to Neil Armstrong walking on the moon.  As a boy before radios first broadcast to a senior citizen watching on television Neil Armstrong take that first step.
 

All these accomplishments were realized because someone decided that it was possible. The only thing getting in the way of you accomplishing something is your own negativity. If you believe you can’t accomplish something you will fulfill your own destiny.
 

This was part of a presentation I gave to the Blind Center of Nevada yesterday. This was one of the most rewarding presentations I have given in along time. After this short little introduction I opened the room up for discussion. The group was passionate, energetic, and almost everyone had something to say. My goal was to get everyone to get out of their comfort zones and to try something that they have wanted to try, but were afraid to. I didn’t encourage them to climb their Mount Everest, but to start with smaller goals and work up to the big challenges.

One gentleman had been inspired by Jim Abbott the baseball player and how he had to overcome having only one hand and yet still making it to the major leagues as a pitcher for the Angels. He had to learn to throw and catch a baseball with only one hand. He would throw the ball,  slip his glove on in the same movement so that he could catch the ball and then take off the glove to throw the ball to first base.

A friend of mine called me the other day asking for some help with her contest speech. She is competing in Toastmasters “International Speech Contest.” An annual contest that is world wide starting in January and culminating at the World Championship in August.

She has made it to the District level which is all of Southern Nevada and all of Central California. If she wins District she will move on to the Region and then possibly the World Championship of Public Speaking in Washington D.C. Everyone from her home club has told her she has a great speech, but she needs “to learn to take control of the room before she starts her presentation like George does.”

I have competed many times in the past and others have observed that I get the audiences attention before I start to speak even before I am introduced. This is what entertainers call stage presence. Anyone can stand up in-front of an audience and tell jokes, give a speech, sing a song, but to be a professional entertainer, comedian, or speaker you have to have stage presence. This is what separates the amateurs from the professionals. Many call it the “it” factor. Do they have “it?” The question now is, is stage presence something that you can develop or are you born with it. Can Stage presence be taught? I believe yes and no.

“Death has had a lot of bad press. Many hours are spent in dread of this great mystery. …Our society is so uncomfortable with death that despite the incredible concern about it, few people are willing to discuss it openly as a stimulating topic of conversation.” – Patch Adams M.D.

Art Buchwald who recently had his leg amputated at the age of 80 and is now living in a hospice recently appeared on the today show on NBC. Tom Brokaw asked him about his life lessons and how he was coping with living in a hospice. For many this would be a depressing time, but for Art Buchwald who has been a humorist for most of his professional life it was an opportunity to say good buy to his friends and family. Despite the fact that his health is failing he has been able to maintain his sense of humor helping cope with impending death. When Tom Brokaw asked him about friends visiting him he joked that “people when they visit you at a in a place like this they feel they have to bring you food. I don’t know what I am going to do with another bag of bagels.” He laughed and said he has had about 10 pastrami sandwiches since he has been in the hospice.

Later Tom Brokaw joked about receiving an invitation to eulogize Art at his memorial service. In the invitation it said something to the effect that Art Buchwald has invited you to speak as his memorial. This is an opportunity to say something nice about Art in his presence. Please keep it about three minutes.

What a positive way to cope with the end of your life. I realize that many don’t have the opportunity to celebrate their life at the end, but to use and share humor with friends and family is a wonderful way of helping those around cope with your death.

Before my mother went in for her cancer surgery earlier this year not only did we use laughter therapy to cope with this serious illness, but she gave me strict instructions not to waste too much money on a big funeral but to invest that expenditure into a big party in her honor. Rather than mourn the loss, celebrate her life with humor and joy. After hearing Art Buchwald’s interview she said, “I don’t want you to wait until I’m gone to have the party. I want to enjoy it and hear what people are saying about me.” I joked are you sure you really want to hear what people are saying about you?”

Obviously no one wants to succumb to the inevitable, but maintaining your humor can help ease the grief by your loved ones. In an earlier article, entitled “Laughter and Bereavement”, I talked about how the late Morey Amsterdam from the old Dick Van Dyke Show taught me about keeping a sense of humor while morning the loss of a loved one. I have had several people come up to me after speaking to their organization on “laughter as a wellness program” entitled “Take Two Laughs and Call Me In the Morning” to tell me how they coped with the loss of a loved one using humor and laughter therapy. One lady and her daughter said, “When my husband died my daughter and I sat around and shared funny stories about my husband. It really helped us cope and get over the bereavement period much sooner than my two sons who thought is was inappropriate to laugh at such a time. It took them much longer to get over the loss of their father than it took my daughter and me.”

While doing a workshop for the Nevada Donor Network a couple of years ago. I talked about maintaining humor while dealing with the loss of loved ones. They have the challenge of having to deal with death on a daily basis while trying to give life to others. This can be very stressful. One of the employees shared with the group that she used humor to cope with the loss of her brother. He was always telling jokes. At the funeral during the eulogy rather that tell a sad story she told his favorite joke. Everyone laughed.

I admit that keeping a sense of humor during times like these is difficult. We have been conditioned to mourn and weep and at times been made to feel guilty when using humor when losing a loved one. But the fact is I would rather remember a loved one with the humor and laughter that we shared than to have my last thoughts of them as sick and failing. Laughter has long been used as a coping mechanism while under stress. The loss of a loved is one of the most stressful times. Why not use humor to overcome the stress of losing friends and family.

Here are some humorous quotes about death and dying.

“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.”  -Yogi Berra.

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.”
- Woody Allen
 

“Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.”
- Edmund Gwenn
 

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”
- Redd Foxx
 

“The report of my death was an exaggeration.” (New York Journal, June 1897)
- Mark Twain

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”
- Sam Levenson

The other day 11^th seeded George Mason University knocked off the number 1 seed University of Connecticut in overtime in the NCAA tournament to reach the final four. This was a huge upset. ESPN.com’s Andy Katz said, “This was the greatest run ever to the Final Four.” Others have said it is the biggest upset in the tournament’s history. Before the tournament many felt that George Mason University wasn’t a good enough team and shouldn’t have been chosen to participate in the tournament. Obviously they have proven them wrong. But what makes this team different than the rest. They are having fun!

George Mason’s coach Jim Larranaga made sure that his players continue to have fun during this remarkable run. A run that has seen this team upset sixth seed Michigan St.,  third seed University of North Carolina, and seventh seed Wichita St. Just before they took the court to face the University of Connecticut, Larranaga reminded his players they were from the CAA — not the Colonial Athletic Association, but from the “Connecticut Assassins Association.” The players broke out in laughter.  Before they played North Carolina coach Larranaga told the team North Carolina is “Superman and we’re Kryptonite.” The coach’s goal was to keep the players loose and not stress out for the games.

Does this mean coach Larranga and his team isn’t taking these games seriously? Just the opposite they are taking them very seriously. Being able to find fun and humor in your endeavors can free you up to handle the momentous task at hand. I see a coach like Larranga get his team to overachieve because he reminds them to have fun and then I have seen Bobby Knight’s teams on occasion underachieve. I sometimes think coach Knight’s style of intimidation backfires. I think his players tighten up because they are afraid of coach Knight. I don’t think we will ever see Coach Larranga throw a chair across the court or choke a player for making a mistake.

There were other teams in the tournament that succumbed to the pressure. After being up by 9 points with 3:27 seconds left in the game and leading until the final 10 seconds, Gonzaga lost their bid to go to the final four for the first time in school history. It was obvious that Gonzaga’s players started to feel the pressure in the final moments of the game. They couldn’t score and turned the ball over to give up the lead. With two seconds left Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison overwhelmed with emotion started crying before the game was over. He is a great player and will indeed have a great career ahead whether he stays in school or decides to go to the NBA. Obviously no one enjoys losing, but maybe Gonzaga who has never been to the final four should have focused on having more fun throughout the tournament. I believe they put too much pressure on themselves and in the end they tightened up and couldn’t finish unlike George Mason University whose team was able to not make mistakes and close out the game with a win.

Just when we need to focus most is when we tend to loose our focus. Why? Because we get too serious, thus impeding our concentration. The harder we try, the harder it is to concentrate, choking off any chance we had of accomplishing our goal. This is the time to find something to laugh at. Humor and laughter can help bring back our focus and see the challenge in a different light. Joking that the George Mason team were the Connecticut Assassinations Association helped lighten the fact that they were going to play what many pundits picked as the team to win the tournament. Humor in this case enabled the team to see the opponent as someone that can be beaten.

Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously. We let our stress beat us before our opponent. It doesn’t matter whether it’s on the basketball court, at school, in business or any other aspect of life. We too often forget to have fun. We forget to laugh. Because we get too serious. We tighten up. Coach Larranga used humor to, as he said, “to keep his kids loose.”  When I find myself starting to tighten up before a speech I remind myself as I am walking up to have fun. I know if I’m not having fun I am not going to perform to the best of my ability.

Mirth is God’s medicine.  Everybody ought to bathe in it.  ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Thank you for all the email, cards and good wishes in response to mom’s condition. On February 8 my mother Humorist Tulara Lee had a Lobe Ectomy to remove her upper left lung due to cancer. Like Dana Reeve mom never smoked. She is expected to make a full recovery.

Along with your thoughts and prayers laughter helped us get through her surgery and recovery. Using laughter therapy immediately before surgery put mom at ease in such a stressful situation. We were telling jokes and laughing right up until the time the surgical staff wheeled her into the operating room.

I broke out into an adlib stand-up monologue about doctors nurses and hospitals. Making up jokes on anything I could to put us both at ease. I said, “the reason they give you those gowns that open in the back is because even Doctors need a laugh.” Much of the humor we can’t remember now because I was making it up as we went along, but I know that if I tried to do it on stage I wouldn’t get a laugh, but at the time it was funny and somewhat appropriate.

Even the doctor bought into the humor. He also joked with us about the surgery. The doctor asked mom a question. And Mom responded by saying to the doctor, “you’re the expert.” And the doctor said, “No I’ve never done this before, but I have a how to book. May be you could hold it for me while I’m operating on you.”  Making us laugh.

After the surgery she was in intensive care for awhile but that didn’t stop us from finding humor and laughter in the recovery. I joked that, “some humor is dead pan while hers is bed pan.”  When it came time to remove a tube mom asked the doctor, “will it hurt?” the doctor responded by saying, “I have been doing this for over thirty years and it hasn’t hurt me yet.”

After leaving the hospital it was important to keep our spirits up by watching humorous videos and DVD’s while she was recuperating. She watched reruns of television show like “Everybody Loves Raymond” the old “Flip Wilson” comedy show, “Andy Griffith Show.” Shows that make her laugh.

I found myself handling the big things, but stressing over small unimportant things and had to remember to practice what I preach. One night I wasn’t in the best of moods, while channel surfing I came across a two-hour version of “Americas Funniest Home Video’s” I very seldom watch that show, but on this occasion it was just what the doctor ordered. The videos made me laugh out loud for most of the two hours and it was very cathartic.

Today mom is still recovering and is getting stronger every day. She is getting ready to join me on the speaking circuit again and looks forward to speaking with me in April. Laughter helped get us through her surgery

It is important to find humor while going through something as physically and emotionally challenging as surgery. Norman Cousins said: “Laughter is a powerful way to tap positive emotions”

March 20th is the first day of spring. What a great opportunity to do some mental spring cleaning, get rid of those dark negative thoughts, and get out of those winter doldrums and lighten your mood.

In nature spring is a new beginning. It is the season when flowers bloom, the trees blossom, and animals come out of their winter hibernation. Just as a snake sheds its skin in the sping, shed those depressing thoughts by incorporating more humor into your life.

Days are getting longer and lighter so lighten your mood to suit the season.

In baseball March is the beginning of spring training. This is when the players get back into shape for the coming season. This is the time for us to begin our own spring training of humor. Look for the humor that has lain dormant, practice that humor and share it with others.

There are times when humor and laughter are not appropriate, but there are times that even though it may not seem appropriate, humor and laughter are a necessity. For instance, some might say that humor and laughter are inappropriate at a funeral or when a loved one passes away. But laughter may actually help us cope with the loss.

Several years ago I attended the funeral of a close family friend. She and her husband were in show-business and they often worked, toured, and vacationed together with my parents. So when she passed away it was a sad time for all. We not only lost a friend but part of our extended family. At the funeral several family members and friends stood up to give eulogies. They talked about how sad this was and how terrible cancer is. Then Morey Amsterdam, from the old Dick Van Dyke Show, spoke. He started telling humorous stories about her and jokes. Soon those tears of sorrow became tears of laughter.

Was it inappropriate to share humor and laughter at the funeral? NO! I think Morey made us realize that day that it is more important to remember the good times, the laughter, and the humor of the deceased than to focus on death and disease.