George Gilbert’s Motivational Humor

“Death has had a lot of bad press. Many hours are spent in dread of this great mystery. …Our society is so uncomfortable with death that despite the incredible concern about it, few people are willing to discuss it openly as a stimulating topic of conversation.” – Patch Adams M.D.

Art Buchwald who recently had his leg amputated at the age of 80 and is now living in a hospice recently appeared on the today show on NBC. Tom Brokaw asked him about his life lessons and how he was coping with living in a hospice. For many this would be a depressing time, but for Art Buchwald who has been a humorist for most of his professional life it was an opportunity to say good buy to his friends and family. Despite the fact that his health is failing he has been able to maintain his sense of humor helping cope with impending death. When Tom Brokaw asked him about friends visiting him he joked that “people when they visit you at a in a place like this they feel they have to bring you food. I don’t know what I am going to do with another bag of bagels.” He laughed and said he has had about 10 pastrami sandwiches since he has been in the hospice.

Later Tom Brokaw joked about receiving an invitation to eulogize Art at his memorial service. In the invitation it said something to the effect that Art Buchwald has invited you to speak as his memorial. This is an opportunity to say something nice about Art in his presence. Please keep it about three minutes.

What a positive way to cope with the end of your life. I realize that many don’t have the opportunity to celebrate their life at the end, but to use and share humor with friends and family is a wonderful way of helping those around cope with your death.

Before my mother went in for her cancer surgery earlier this year not only did we use laughter therapy to cope with this serious illness, but she gave me strict instructions not to waste too much money on a big funeral but to invest that expenditure into a big party in her honor. Rather than mourn the loss, celebrate her life with humor and joy. After hearing Art Buchwald’s interview she said, “I don’t want you to wait until I’m gone to have the party. I want to enjoy it and hear what people are saying about me.” I joked are you sure you really want to hear what people are saying about you?”

Obviously no one wants to succumb to the inevitable, but maintaining your humor can help ease the grief by your loved ones. In an earlier article, entitled “Laughter and Bereavement”, I talked about how the late Morey Amsterdam from the old Dick Van Dyke Show taught me about keeping a sense of humor while morning the loss of a loved one. I have had several people come up to me after speaking to their organization on “laughter as a wellness program” entitled “Take Two Laughs and Call Me In the Morning” to tell me how they coped with the loss of a loved one using humor and laughter therapy. One lady and her daughter said, “When my husband died my daughter and I sat around and shared funny stories about my husband. It really helped us cope and get over the bereavement period much sooner than my two sons who thought is was inappropriate to laugh at such a time. It took them much longer to get over the loss of their father than it took my daughter and me.”

While doing a workshop for the Nevada Donor Network a couple of years ago. I talked about maintaining humor while dealing with the loss of loved ones. They have the challenge of having to deal with death on a daily basis while trying to give life to others. This can be very stressful. One of the employees shared with the group that she used humor to cope with the loss of her brother. He was always telling jokes. At the funeral during the eulogy rather that tell a sad story she told his favorite joke. Everyone laughed.

I admit that keeping a sense of humor during times like these is difficult. We have been conditioned to mourn and weep and at times been made to feel guilty when using humor when losing a loved one. But the fact is I would rather remember a loved one with the humor and laughter that we shared than to have my last thoughts of them as sick and failing. Laughter has long been used as a coping mechanism while under stress. The loss of a loved is one of the most stressful times. Why not use humor to overcome the stress of losing friends and family.

Here are some humorous quotes about death and dying.

“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.”  -Yogi Berra.

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.”
- Woody Allen
 

“Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.”
- Edmund Gwenn
 

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”
- Redd Foxx
 

“The report of my death was an exaggeration.” (New York Journal, June 1897)
- Mark Twain

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”
- Sam Levenson

With the exception of the 15th, April is my favorite month. Two very important things in my life take place in April. It’s National Humor Month and National Donate Life Month. Both of these causes play a very significant role in my life. As a motivational humorist I not only speak on the importance and benefits of humor in our lives, but since my  ex-wife Dori’s kidney/pancreas transplant, I often speak to inspire organ and tissue donation. To medical personnel in that field I speak from the patient’s point of view and how we used humor to deal with such a serious illness. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could combine the two! For instance, if a person is lacking a sense of humor, we could give that person a transplant of a funny bone or a humorous.
 

If it weren’t for her kidney/pancreas transplant Dori would probably not be here today or at least not enjoy the quality of life she enjoys today. Needing and waiting for a transplant can be a very traumatic and painful experience, but humor helped to alleviate some of that trauma and stress. This does not mean we didn’t have our pity parties but laughter kept those pity parties from developing into a major depression.
 

Not long after the transplant, while she was still in the hospital, I knew healthwise Dori was feeling better because she started to worry about her looks instead of her health. I came into her hospital room one morning and she was looking in the mirror. “I look terrible,” she said, “I have all these staples down my front.” I joked, “You look beautiful! Just like a Playboy Centerfold, and even they have staples down the front.” A little bit of humor can ease the mental anguish of dealing with a serious illness or situation. Laughter can put a different perspective on a stressful situation.

A fool and his money are soon parted - Especially in Las Vegas   Tulara Lee 

 April 1.  This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.  ~Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894April fool, n.  The March fool with another month added to his folly.  ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

The other day 11^th seeded George Mason University knocked off the number 1 seed University of Connecticut in overtime in the NCAA tournament to reach the final four. This was a huge upset. ESPN.com’s Andy Katz said, “This was the greatest run ever to the Final Four.” Others have said it is the biggest upset in the tournament’s history. Before the tournament many felt that George Mason University wasn’t a good enough team and shouldn’t have been chosen to participate in the tournament. Obviously they have proven them wrong. But what makes this team different than the rest. They are having fun!

George Mason’s coach Jim Larranaga made sure that his players continue to have fun during this remarkable run. A run that has seen this team upset sixth seed Michigan St.,  third seed University of North Carolina, and seventh seed Wichita St. Just before they took the court to face the University of Connecticut, Larranaga reminded his players they were from the CAA — not the Colonial Athletic Association, but from the “Connecticut Assassins Association.” The players broke out in laughter.  Before they played North Carolina coach Larranaga told the team North Carolina is “Superman and we’re Kryptonite.” The coach’s goal was to keep the players loose and not stress out for the games.

Does this mean coach Larranga and his team isn’t taking these games seriously? Just the opposite they are taking them very seriously. Being able to find fun and humor in your endeavors can free you up to handle the momentous task at hand. I see a coach like Larranga get his team to overachieve because he reminds them to have fun and then I have seen Bobby Knight’s teams on occasion underachieve. I sometimes think coach Knight’s style of intimidation backfires. I think his players tighten up because they are afraid of coach Knight. I don’t think we will ever see Coach Larranga throw a chair across the court or choke a player for making a mistake.

There were other teams in the tournament that succumbed to the pressure. After being up by 9 points with 3:27 seconds left in the game and leading until the final 10 seconds, Gonzaga lost their bid to go to the final four for the first time in school history. It was obvious that Gonzaga’s players started to feel the pressure in the final moments of the game. They couldn’t score and turned the ball over to give up the lead. With two seconds left Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison overwhelmed with emotion started crying before the game was over. He is a great player and will indeed have a great career ahead whether he stays in school or decides to go to the NBA. Obviously no one enjoys losing, but maybe Gonzaga who has never been to the final four should have focused on having more fun throughout the tournament. I believe they put too much pressure on themselves and in the end they tightened up and couldn’t finish unlike George Mason University whose team was able to not make mistakes and close out the game with a win.

Just when we need to focus most is when we tend to loose our focus. Why? Because we get too serious, thus impeding our concentration. The harder we try, the harder it is to concentrate, choking off any chance we had of accomplishing our goal. This is the time to find something to laugh at. Humor and laughter can help bring back our focus and see the challenge in a different light. Joking that the George Mason team were the Connecticut Assassinations Association helped lighten the fact that they were going to play what many pundits picked as the team to win the tournament. Humor in this case enabled the team to see the opponent as someone that can be beaten.

Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously. We let our stress beat us before our opponent. It doesn’t matter whether it’s on the basketball court, at school, in business or any other aspect of life. We too often forget to have fun. We forget to laugh. Because we get too serious. We tighten up. Coach Larranga used humor to, as he said, “to keep his kids loose.”  When I find myself starting to tighten up before a speech I remind myself as I am walking up to have fun. I know if I’m not having fun I am not going to perform to the best of my ability.