George Gilbert’s Motivational Humor

“Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.” - Joanne Woodward

“For I’ve been born and I’ve been wed. All of man’s peril comes of bed.” - C.H. Webb, Dum Vivimus Vigilemus

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” - Rita Rudner “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with.” - Mark Twain“No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.” - unknown quote“I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.“Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.” - Milton Berle “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” - Rita Rudner“Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.” - Samuel Johnson “Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for.” - Mae West“A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it.” - Don Fraser “Marriage is a fine institution - but I’m not ready for an institution.” - Mae West“Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.” - Phyllis Diller“

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s eighth husband on her wedding night: I know what I’m supposed to do…I just have to figure out a way to make it interesting.” - many attributions

“A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.” – Kid Millions, 1934
  “I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?” - Jerry Seinfeld