George Gilbert’s Motivational Humor

Archive for the 'Humor' Category

From Stand-up to Stand-Out - Know Your Audience

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006

Different audiences process information differently. Bob Hope was known for his machine gun style delivery, where he would talk very fast telling joke after joke. This worked for him usually, but in different parts of the country he didn’t do so well when he first started because the audience couldn’t keep up with his fast pace. In the biography “Bob Hope A Tribute” by Raymond Strait Bob had a tough time in Texas.

Bob Hope did so poorly he told the unit manager, “Get me the hell out of here on the first train. I want to go back to the United States.”

Bob O’Donnell, an unpretentious guy who seemed to hang around the wings while the acts were performing, came back to the dressing room and asked Hope, “Hey fancy pants, what’s the problem?”

If I wanted to play to foreigners I’d go to Africa. I’m not for these people. That’s what’s the matter!”

O’Donnell laughed out loud. “Son,” he said, ‘you’re in Texas. Don’t talk so fast. These folks can’t understand a word you say. Relax. It’s summertime. Ain’t nobody goin’ anywhere. So take your time. You’ll be all right.”

Bob O’Donnell was the head of the International Vaudeville Circuit.

“O’Donnell taught him a very critical lesson in comedy. “Know your audience. Sometimes it don’t pay to rush things. Don’t be in such a hurry,” he said, “Let the audience catch up to you.”

Bob Hope took his advice and the second show was much more successful.

Posted in Humor, Jokes, Personal Development, Speaking Tips | No Comments »

From Stand-up to Stand-Out

Monday, April 17th, 2006

Notes for Tonights workshop on putting humor in presentations.

1. The difference between stand-up comedy and speaking is you use humor in comedy to get the laughs. In speaking you use humor to get the Audience.

2. When using humor in a comedy routine or a speech it is very important to find humor that will fit Your Personality. Humor that doesn’t fit Your Personality is like you trying to be something that your not.

3. Don’t step on your Laughs. Don’t start speaking again until the laughter dies down.

4. When speaking it is important to check the room. Test the microphones___, walk around on the stage or platform. If possible check the lighting in the room.

5. In order to improve your writing and delivery you need stage times.

6. There is no substitute for speaking in front of an audience.

7. No matter how good you are you still need a place to be bad.

Types of Jokes

1. The Power of Three
The audience expects order. The laugh comes when something is unexpectedly out of order. The power of three gets a laugh when the third is out of context with the first two.

Example:
Smile, eyes, assets

My wife says there were three things that made her fall in love with me. My smile, my eyes, and my assets.

2. PUNS AND PLAY ON WORDS
A Pun is a classic play on words using two words (or phrases) that sound alike but have different meanings. The Play on Words uses one word (or phrase) that has two meanings. You use the word as if you are suing the first definition of the word and then the punch lie uses the second definition.
“Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.” Groucho Marks

3. Stating the Obvious
Life is funny. The humor is plain to see as long as you look for it. The funniest things are often those that are so obvious the audience catches on to the punch line before you even say it or they say, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“I stepped out for a walk. My girlfriend asked how long I would be out. I said, ‘The whole time’.” Steven Wright
4. THE UNEXPECTED TWIST

This type of joke has the audience thinking you’re going in one direction and then for the punch line you take a detour and go off in an unexpected direction.

“I’ve got two wonderful children – and two out of five isn’t bad” Henny Youngman

5. Self-deprecating
Humor where you put yourself down. Be careful not to use this too much.

6. Theme Jokes The theme jokes are all on the same subject and formatted similarly (like Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if…”). Another form of a theme joke is to use exaggeration (it’s so cold…, I’m so dumb…, Yo-mama….).
7. Humorous stories and anecdotes
Humorous stories that happened to you or someone you know. These are the best because they are true and original.

Posted in Speaking, Humor, Jokes, Speaking Tips | 2 Comments »

Casual Friday - Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes. Tax Day

Saturday, April 15th, 2006

“It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.“ – D. Barry “Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.” – Calvin Coolidge

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the Income Tax form” –Albert Einstein “I want to find out who this FICA guy is and how come he’s taking so much of my money.” – Professional Hockey Player

“it would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required.” – Anonymous “The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.” – Sam Ewing

“if you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead – if you strike oil.” J. Paul Getty “Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.” - Herbert Hoover “I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes…” – Mark Twain

Posted in Motivational Humor, Humor, Jokes, Quotes, Joke Quotes and Anecdotes, income tax humor | 1 Comment »

Laughter Therapy To Go

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006

I just found a wonderful station on AOL Radio called XM Laugh USA. This station plays live recordings of all the great comedians of yesterday and today. I have only been listening to it for about an hour and a half and I have heard classic routines from the old comedians like Henny Youngman, Mort Sahl, and Mel Brooks to today’s contemporaries like Jerry Seinfeld, Jeff Foxworthy, and Ray Romano. The comedy is clean and very entertaining. I sat around the office laughing while I was getting my work done.

There is something for everybody on this station; I am listening to the neurotic comedy of Woody Allen. I forgot just how funny he was when he did Stand-up comedy. Most people don’t even realize that Woody Allen started out as a comedy writer on “Your Show of Shows” in the 1950’s. He started doing stand-up comedy in 1960 and then segued his comedy into writing and staring in movies.

Before Woody Allen came on I heard a classic routine from Phyllis Diller. There is something for everyone. Unlike a radio station if you have XM radio you can listen to it anywhere. I haven’t laughed this hard listening to the radio since I used to listen to Dr. Demento when I was in high school and college.

If you have a computer or XM radio turn to this station and enjoy the comedy. If you aren’t feeling well or just not having a good day this station is sure to get you to forget your troubles and may even help you produce a few endorphins. This is such a great avenue for laughter therapy.

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Humor, Jokes | 1 Comment »

Laughter Therapy - The Benefits of Making Others Laugh

Monday, April 10th, 2006

“If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that’s my reward.” Victor Borge

Making people laugh is very therapeutic. I used to criticize would be comics for getting up on open mike night and using stage time for therapy. And I still do. When they aren’t even trying to be funny. I would see people get up and tell these awful stories about their lives that should be reserved for a psychologists couch. These stories weren’t funny. There was no real attempt at writing a joke, it was just a chance for someone to get up and tell the world their problems. I call it the “Jerry Springer effect.”

But making people laugh can get you out of your doldrums. The other night I appeared at an event. This was the first event I had performed at since my mother had surgery for lung cancer. I have been using laughter therapy on her and myself to overcome the stress of her illness. But the last few days I found myself not as positive as I normally am. Even moments before getting up on stage I wasn’t in the mood to speak. As soon as I was introduced I found myself getting that positive feeling back. I stepped on to the podium, stood up in front of the audience, and I found myself shedding away all negative feelings. The laughter from the audience made me feel good about myself again. I have been doing stand-up comedy since the age of 12 and making people laugh is not only my career it’s my mission. Becoming a motivational humorist has been most rewarding for me. Being able to make people laugh and then expounding on the benefits of humor and laughter has given new meaning to my life. When I can make an audience laugh, I know I have made them forget about their problems even if it’s just for a few minutes. Milton Berle said, “Laughter is an instant vacation.” Laughter is a vacation from the stresses we put on our selves. Like going on a vacation we go to get away from our every day problems.

Over the past several years not only do I get the instant reward of an audience’s laughter, but the extra benefit of members in the audience coming up to me to tell me their experiences with laughter therapy. I gave a presentation at the Bellagio in Las Vegas last year to the International Association of Building Contractors. As I was collecting my props several people came up to me. They wanted to share their stories with me. One lady told me about her son, who was a police officer in the town where she lived. One night while on patrol he accidentally came across a pipe bomb. The bomb blew up in his hand. This is not something you would think would be something discussed in the same topic with humor. The lady told me that her son was in pretty good spirits about the incident and one of the reasons was many of the family members started making humorous comments about it. At first she was mortified that they would joke about her son losing his fingers in front of him until she realized that he was laughing and that it was a way of coping with the loss of most of his fingers. In order to cope sometimes we laugh at very morbid subjects. Subjects that others would be offended by. Even though they probably didn’t realize it, joking about the accident was also a way that family members used to cope with this near tragedy and they felt better making him laugh.

You don’t have to get up on stage to reap the benefits of making people laugh. Share humor with a friend or group of friends. Call someone up, especially someone you know going through a challenging time, and tell them a joke. Send a friend a humorous card, let them know you are thinking of them. Clip out a funny article or cartoon from the paper and put it up on the bulletin board at work. You will immediately feel the positive effect of your mental state by making someone laugh. Making someone laugh is a win-win situation. What I have found is that sharing humor with the audience is your gift to them and their laughter is their gift to you.

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. –Will Rogers

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Wellness, Humor, Stress Reduction, coping with a serious illness, Personal Development | No Comments »

Casual Friday - Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes. Baseball

Friday, April 7th, 2006

Abbott: Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third. Costello: That’s what I want to find out. – Lou Costello

For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings. – Earl Wilson

After I his a home run I had a habit of running the bases with my head down. I figured the pitcher already felt bad enough without me showing him up rounding the bases. – Mickey Mantle

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon of the golf course. – Hank Aaron

Candlestick was built on the waster. It should have been built under it. – Roger Maris

They (Expos Fans) discovered ‘boo” is pronounced the same in French as it is in English. –Harry Caray

All I want is for my case to be heard before an impractical decision-maker. – Pete Rose

I think I was the best baseball player I ever saw. – Willie Mays

I’d rather hit than have sex. – Reggie Jackson

A baseball bat is a wondrous weapon. – Ty Cobb

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them? – Leo Durocher

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided. – Casey Stengel

The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up. – Bob Uecker

England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up wit a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example. - Robert Benchley

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. – Casey Stengel

Don’t forget to swing hard, in case you hit the ball. – Woodie Held

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Humor, Jokes, Quotes, Baseball, Joke Quotes and Anecdotes | 1 Comment »

April is a Very Important Month For Humor and Health

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

With the exception of the 15th, April is my favorite month. Two very important things in my life take place in April. It’s National Humor Month and National Donate Life Month. Both of these causes play a very significant role in my life. As a motivational humorist I not only speak on the importance and benefits of humor in our lives, but since my ex-wife Dori’s kidney/pancreas transplant, I often speak to inspire organ and tissue donation. To medical personnel in that field I speak from the patient’s point of view and how we used humor to deal with such a serious illness. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could combine the two! For instance, if a person is lacking a sense of humor, we could give that person a transplant of a funny bone or a humorous.

If it weren’t for her kidney/pancreas transplant Dori would probably not be here today or at least not enjoy the quality of life she enjoys today. Needing and waiting for a transplant can be a very traumatic and painful experience, but humor helped to alleviate some of that trauma and stress. This does not mean we didn’t have our pity parties but laughter kept those pity parties from developing into a major depression.

Not long after the transplant, while she was still in the hospital, I knew healthwise Dori was feeling better because she started to worry about her looks instead of her health. I came into her hospital room one morning and she was looking in the mirror. “I look terrible,” she said, “I have all these staples down my front.” I joked, “You look beautiful! Just like a Playboy Centerfold, and even they have staples down the front.” A little bit of humor can ease the mental anguish of dealing with a serious illness or situation. Laughter can put a different perspective on a stressful situation.

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Wellness, Humor, Stress Reduction, coping with a serious illness, Jokes, Personal Development, April Fools Day, Organ and Tissue Transplants | 2 Comments »

Mistakes Speakers Make

Monday, April 3rd, 2006

When using humor in a speech the goal is to make the humor enhance the presentation and not detract. I recently saw a speaker trying too hard to be funny. He was injecting humor just for the sake of being funny and not trying to fit it to the subject. It was as if he wrote the jokes and then wrote the speech as an afterthought. Some of the humor was about people in the audience and I felt uncomfortable because it was embarrassing for those members in the audience to be singled out. This wasn’t a roast or a comedy club.

When a comedian singles out people in the audience it can be funny. Don Rickles has made a career of picking on the audience and to some even that can be offensive. But the difference is that people know there is a chance to be picked on when you go to see a comedian like Don Rickles perform. But when you are watching a speaker it can be shocking. I should say the speaker didn’t verbally attack audience members like Don Rickles, but still it was inappropriate.

The next mistake the speaker made was he killed the joke by laughing during the jokes setup. You knew he was trying to tell a joke. Most humor, not all but most humor, gets a laugh when the audience doesn’t know its coming. The surprise is what makes it funny. Will Ferell once said, “The way I approach comedy, is you have to commit to everything as if it’s a dramatic role, meaning you play it straight.” By laughing at his own jokes the speaker wasn’t playing it straight.

Laughing while telling the joke also kills a laugh because the audience couldn’t understand the speaker. He spoke while laughing. The only thing worse than speaking while laughing, my mother would say, is speaking while your mouth is full. In order to be funny the audience has to hear the set-up line and the punch line. If they can’t you are not going to get a laugh. No matter how funny the joke is.

Make sure your humor is appropriate to the speech and the audience. Humor can make a dull, dry, boring speech interesting and even entertaining. Don’t joke about an audience member just for the sake of getting a laugh, especially if the joke might embarrass the person you are speaking about.

In one of my after-dinner speeches, I am not introduced as George Gilbert, but to the audience as “Dr. George Willoughby” a psychologist who recently wrote a book entitled, “How to Laugh at Your Neuroses.” This is intended to be a spoof of an after dinner speaker. Before I speak, I send out a questionnaire to the organization that I am speaking to. I try to find out as much about the organization as I can. I ask them about what might be sensitive so I know to stay away from those subjects. The last thing I want to talk about is something that is going to upset or offend the audience. I ask them to think about some funny things that have happened to them at their jobs that I might use in my presentation. I also ask for three names of people that I can contact to get more information. When I do joke about someone in the audience, I approach them before I speak and ask them if they would mind if I poked a little fun at them. I would never want to embarrass or shock that person because the audience will always side with one of their members and resent me.

When portraying “Doctor Willoughby” I stay in character, if I were to start to laugh at my jokes they would fail to get a laugh. I am supposed to be a renowned serious psychologist. Make sure you stay in character even if that character is you. Don’t try to be someone else. Lucille Ball probably said it best, “I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that’s good taste.”

Posted in Speaking, Humor, Professional Speaker, Jokes, Personal Development, Speaking Tips | 1 Comment »

Casual Friday - Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes. April Fools Humor

Friday, March 31st, 2006

A fool and his money are soon parted - Especially in Las Vegas Tulara Lee

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. ~Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. ~Chinese Proverb

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.
~Robert Frost, “Cluster of Faith,” 1962

He who is born a fool is never cured. ~Proverb

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. ~Mark Twain

If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings. ~Welsh Proverb

I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it. ~Jack Handey

We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb

Even the gods love jokes. ~Plato

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. ~Abraham Lincoln

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected. ~Will Rogers

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. ~Henry Louis Mencken

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~Douglas Adams

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. ~Max Eastman

Don’t give cherries to pigs or advice to fools. ~Irish Proverb

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself. ~Clifton Paul Fadiman

It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools. ~Spanish Proverb

I have great faith in fools - self-confidence, my friends call it. ~Edgar Allan Poe

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. ~George Orwell

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? ~Rita Rudner

Suppose the world were only one of God’s jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one? ~George Bernard Shaw

Real friends are those who, when you feel you’ve made a fool of yourself, don’t feel you’ve done a permanent job. ~Author Unknown

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Humor, Jokes, Quotes, April Fools Day | No Comments »

March Madness - Keeping Loose With Humor to Win

Wednesday, March 29th, 2006

The other day 11^th seeded George Mason University knocked off the number 1 seed University of Connecticut in overtime in the NCAA tournament to reach the final four. This was a huge upset. ESPN.com’s Andy Katz said, “This was the greatest run ever to the Final Four.” Others have said it is the biggest upset in the tournament’s history. Before the tournament many felt that George Mason University wasn’t a good enough team and shouldn’t have been chosen to participate in the tournament. Obviously they have proven them wrong. But what makes this team different than the rest. They are having fun!

George Mason’s coach Jim Larranaga made sure that his players continue to have fun during this remarkable run. A run that has seen this team upset sixth seed Michigan St., third seed University of North Carolina, and seventh seed Wichita St. Just before they took the court to face the University of Connecticut, Larranaga reminded his players they were from the CAA — not the Colonial Athletic Association, but from the “Connecticut Assassins Association.” The players broke out in laughter. Before they played North Carolina coach Larranaga told the team North Carolina is “Superman and we’re Kryptonite.” The coach’s goal was to keep the players loose and not stress out for the games.

Does this mean coach Larranga and his team isn’t taking these games seriously? Just the opposite they are taking them very seriously. Being able to find fun and humor in your endeavors can free you up to handle the momentous task at hand. I see a coach like Larranga get his team to overachieve because he reminds them to have fun and then I have seen Bobby Knight’s teams on occasion underachieve. I sometimes think coach Knight’s style of intimidation backfires. I think his players tighten up because they are afraid of coach Knight. I don’t think we will ever see Coach Larranga throw a chair across the court or choke a player for making a mistake.

There were other teams in the tournament that succumbed to the pressure. After being up by 9 points with 3:27 seconds left in the game and leading until the final 10 seconds, Gonzaga lost their bid to go to the final four for the first time in school history. It was obvious that Gonzaga’s players started to feel the pressure in the final moments of the game. They couldn’t score and turned the ball over to give up the lead. With two seconds left Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison overwhelmed with emotion started crying before the game was over. He is a great player and will indeed have a great career ahead whether he stays in school or decides to go to the NBA. Obviously no one enjoys losing, but maybe Gonzaga who has never been to the final four should have focused on having more fun throughout the tournament. I believe they put too much pressure on themselves and in the end they tightened up and couldn’t finish unlike George Mason University whose team was able to not make mistakes and close out the game with a win.

Just when we need to focus most is when we tend to loose our focus. Why? Because we get too serious, thus impeding our concentration. The harder we try, the harder it is to concentrate, choking off any chance we had of accomplishing our goal. This is the time to find something to laugh at. Humor and laughter can help bring back our focus and see the challenge in a different light. Joking that the George Mason team were the Connecticut Assassinations Association helped lighten the fact that they were going to play what many pundits picked as the team to win the tournament. Humor in this case enabled the team to see the opponent as someone that can be beaten.

Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously. We let our stress beat us before our opponent. It doesn’t matter whether it’s on the basketball court, at school, in business or any other aspect of life. We too often forget to have fun. We forget to laugh. Because we get too serious. We tighten up. Coach Larranga used humor to, as he said, “to keep his kids loose.” When I find myself starting to tighten up before a speech I remind myself as I am walking up to have fun. I know if I’m not having fun I am not going to perform to the best of my ability.

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Positive Thinking, Teambuilding, Leadership, Humor, Creating a Fun Work Environment, Productivity, Job Stress, Stress Reduction, Burnout, Motivating employees, Personal Development | No Comments »