Archive for May, 2006

Don’t let the News Depress You! Find More Humor In Your Life.

Tuesday, May 30th, 2006

“Everybody’s always drumming on about the future but I’m not letting it interfere with my laughs.” - John Lennon

You can really get depressed by watching the news. Very seldom do the headlines ever report something positive. Good news seems to be reserved for the fluff pieces, if they have time for it. You can miss two or three days of news, and with the exception of a major tragedy, the news is the same. Someone was shot during a robbery, another person was killed in a car accident, a politician is in trouble and there will always be a major drug bust. The names, addresses and dates may change, but the subjects don’t. When ever a reporter says “the index shows…..” you know the economy is going bad. Even when the economy is going good they are reporting it to go bad soon.

We have created a society of cynical, worrisome, negative thinking people. There have always been complaints that the press doesn’t report enough good news, but the truth is we feed off negativity. Ratings don’t go up when the headline reads “Corporate America did something good for the consumer.” The Nielsen ratings sky rocket when we have a corporate scandal like Enron and what is even better for the networks is when there is government corruption.

It doesn’t matter who is in the White House, Democrat or Republican, the Washington Press Corp. is going to find some sort of scandal, government corruption, or indicators show the president’s popularity is low.

So how do we get away from the negativity? Don’t focus your life around the daily news. Remember we may not be able to control what is on the news or what is happening around the world today, but we can control our own lives. Most of what we see on CNN and FOX News doesn’t really affect our daily lives unless we let it. Try missing the news once in awhile, it will still be there when ever you need to know what is going on in the world.  Find positive things to read about and ADD MORE HUMOR to your life.

Instead of spending that half hour watching your local news switch to a station that has a sitcom running during that time. You will probably digest your dinner better laughing at an episode of “Friends” or “That Seventies Show” rather than looking at death and violence on the news.

Make a point of putting more humor in your life. Watch more comedies, read the comic strip in the paper, look at the humorous forwards from friends and coworkers don’t let the new get you down. Unless you can actually go out and change what is happening on the news don’t get too caught up in it. Laugh more. Turn off the news and sit around with your family sharing humor, playing fun games, or whatever you do to put more laughter in your life.
It is amazing how the news anchor will show all this death and destruction and at the end of thirty straight minutes of it they will smile and say “Have a nice day.”

Have a nice day and don’t take the news too seriously.

Teambuilding and the Gossip

Monday, May 22nd, 2006

I help companies with teambuilding. My objective is to help them create a fun team atmosphere with humor. Creating a fun work environment with humor can bring people together as a team.

The best way to ruin the team spirit is a gossip. You know the type; they are always in everybody’s business, having to know where everybody is and what they are doing. They go around telling everyone that someone left early, that person A is seeing person B in the finance department and generally getting other people in trouble. They go and tell someone’s superiors that that person isn’t getting their work done. Dividing the team.

The gossip creates an atmosphere of distrust among the team. The good team members feel that they always have to look over their shoulder to see if someone is spying on them. Not only is it NOT the gossips job to police everyone else, but it is none of their business. Most of the time the gossip doesn’t really know what they are talking about. Because they are snooping around they usually only get part of the story and then they add their own interpretation to it. The gossip can ruin someone’s chance of promotion, career and even personal and/or profession life.

There is a difference between a Gossip and two people sitting down and venting about something or someone in the office. Sometimes two members of the team will have an issue with someone and rather than blow it out of proportion they will sit down and vent to one another about the subject. This is done with two people who know each other well and can trust each other to keep it to themselves.

A good team leader will put an end to the gossip. One way to do this is for the team leader to say to the gossip, “you seem to have a lot of time on your hands I have a few projects I could use some help with”, until the gossip is so busy that they don’t have time to pry into others business. Another way is to check up on the gossip and make sure that they are getting all of their work done. Quite often the gossip complains about everyone else’s lack of  production, when they are the one not getting anything done. Sometimes the team leader must be blunt and tell gossip it isn’t their job police everyone else.

Stop the gossip and you will have a more cohesive team.

Casual Friday - With Jokes Quotes and Anecdotes

Friday, May 19th, 2006

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.
– Adrienne Gusoff 

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
– Albert Einstein 

You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
– Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.”
– Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
– Anonymous 

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.
– Cher 
 

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.
– Dudley Moore  

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
– Erma Bombeck

It is impossible to love and be wise.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.– Francis BaconMarriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.
– Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.– Fulton J. SheenMen are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
– George Carlin
Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.

Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.– Groucho Marx Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

– Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.
And she never did.
– James Fineous McBride 

It’s been so long since I made love,
I can’t even remember who gets tied up.
– Joan Rivers 
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
– Lily Tomlin
The only people who make love all the time are liars.
– Louis Jordan

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a The only people who make love all the time are liars.baby.
– Natalie WoodLove is a grave mental disease.
– PlatoWhenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my Love is a grave mental disease.
children to spend their weekends with?
– Rita Rudner All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
– Shelley Winters

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
– Steve Martin

 

 

Overcoming Lifes Challenges - Speaking to the Blind

Wednesday, May 17th, 2006

I just read where a double amputee climbed Mount Everest. It wasn’t all that long ago climbing Mount Everest was thought to be impossible. It wasn’t until Sir Edmund Hillary conquered Mount Everest in 1953. And now many people have reached the summit including Erik Weihenmeyer the first blind climber to reach the top. It seems the only limitations that we have are those that we bring on ourselves.
 

There have been several Track and Field athletes who overcame crippling diseases like polio only to go on to win gold medals in the Olympics. Doctors didn’t give them much chance to walk let alone run, but they didn’t let others set limitations for them.
 

My grandfather lived during a time of great accomplishment. He saw man transition from horse and buggy to the automobile. A time when the Wright Brothers were dreaming of flight to Linbergh crossing the Atlantic to Neil Armstrong walking on the moon.  As a boy before radios first broadcast to a senior citizen watching on television Neil Armstrong take that first step.
 

All these accomplishments were realized because someone decided that it was possible. The only thing getting in the way of you accomplishing something is your own negativity. If you believe you can’t accomplish something you will fulfill your own destiny.
 

This was part of a presentation I gave to the Blind Center of Nevada yesterday. This was one of the most rewarding presentations I have given in along time. After this short little introduction I opened the room up for discussion. The group was passionate, energetic, and almost everyone had something to say. My goal was to get everyone to get out of their comfort zones and to try something that they have wanted to try, but were afraid to. I didn’t encourage them to climb their Mount Everest, but to start with smaller goals and work up to the big challenges.

One gentleman had been inspired by Jim Abbott the baseball player and how he had to overcome having only one hand and yet still making it to the major leagues as a pitcher for the Angels. He had to learn to throw and catch a baseball with only one hand. He would throw the ball,  slip his glove on in the same movement so that he could catch the ball and then take off the glove to throw the ball to first base.

After hearing that story another participant told the story of how he played softball in the Blind Olympics and won a gold medal. They play with a ball that makes a sound so that they can find it. He was very proud of this. He said, he gets mad when someone threatens to punish him for trying something. The blind want to do as many things as possible with out help and sometimes when they try they feel like they are being punished.

Another lady told be that she hates it when people say, “You can’t do that.” She said, “How do they know I can’t until I try.”

When I was a teenager my parent’s were always getting after me for saying, “I can’t” to everything. Before I would even try I would say, “I can’t” or “I don’t want to.” This kind of negative thinking really puts restraints on you.

One lady said she wanted to start her own business educating the medical profession on how to treat the blind. She said, when a nurse calls your name at a doctors office to go back and see the doctor she will stand at the door and call out the name, but a blind person doesn’t know where the door is and will get up searching for the door tripping over other peoples feet trying to find the door.

Just then another lady said, “Yes, when I was in the hospital they would bring my food and put it on the table and not tell me. It would sit there and get cold. Someone else would come into the room and ask me how come I didn’t eat. I didn’t even know it had been delivered.”

Deb. the one coordinating the group said, before Maureen Keene (volunteers with communication classes) and I started coming to the group she was very introverted and spoke softly, but now she speak as an advocate to the blind. She got out of her comfort zone for her speaking was her Mount Everest.

Times have changed from when the blind were institutionalized or standing on the corner with a white cane begging for money. Today the blind can do many tasks and function quite well in a sited world and all they ask is that we treat them with the same respect of a sighted  person, are patient with them and assist them when needed.

When Not to Use Humor

Monday, May 15th, 2006

I often talk about using humor in situations to break the tension in a business setting. Quite often heated discussions break out and a humorous comment can be made to cool things down and put the discussion into perspective. But, there are times when humor should not be used. If you are the one being targeted with the serious discussion you may not want to reply with a humorous comment so that you don’t sound flippant angering the other person. The best thing to do is to listen and not interrupt. Let that person finish, many times they just need to vent, they feel they need to be heard. Cracking a joke may make things worse. Try to find something to agree about. Repeat part of their statement so that they are aware that you were listening.  Avoid negative or defensive responses. Don’t be accusatory. Even though you feel you were verbally attacked, don’t escalate the matter by being accusatory.

When using humor in such situations don’t be sardonic. Use a less sarcastic tone so as not to anger someone. Don’t poke fun at someone or their idea; you don’t want them to take the joke personally. Use more generic humor about the situation; the purpose here is to not be a comedian but to be part of the team.

Casual Friday - With Jokes Quotes and Anecdotes

Friday, May 12th, 2006

Thank you Gloria for submitting these:

For People who think too seriously! 

1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.
2. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Night.
3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.
4. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory.
5. 42.7 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The Spot.
6. 99 Percent Of Lawyers Give The Rest A Bad Name.
7. I Feel Like I’m Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe.
8. Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.
9. Remember, Half The People You Know Are Below Average.
10. He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest.
11. Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.
12. The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese.
13. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.
14. Support Bacteria. They’re The Only Culture Some People Have.
15. Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7 Of Your Week.
16. A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad Memory.
17. Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending Machines.
18. Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It’ll Be A Great Trade!
19. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.
20. Always Try To Be Modest, And Be Proud Of It!
21 If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing A Couple Of Car Payments.
22. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-kinesis? Raise My Hand.
23 . Ok, So What’s The Speed Of Dark?
24. How Do You Tell When You’re Out Of Invisible Ink?
25. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Have Obviously Overlooked
Something.
26. When Everything Is Coming Your Way, You’re In The Wrong Lane.
27. Hard Work Pays Off In The Future. Laziness Pays Off Now.
28. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Do Not Have Film.
29. If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends?
30. How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges?
31. Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Do Not Get Sucked Into Jet Engines.
32. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?
33. I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains Kept Falling Out.
34. I Couldn’t Repair Your Brakes, So I Made Your Horn Louder.
35. Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your Name?
36 Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger Person Wondering ‘what
Happened?’
37. Just Remember - If The World Did Not Suck, We Would All Fall Off.
38. Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which Is Why Some People Appear
Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.

Humor and Leadership

Monday, May 8th, 2006

“A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

Do you have to have a sense of humor to be a leader? No. Hitler probably didn’t have much of a sense of humor. I doubt Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, or General Manuel Noriega ever said, “did you hear the one about…” and if they did tell a joke how would you like to be the person that didn’t laugh. What would happen to you? Dictators and terrorist don’t need to use humor to be a leader, they lead by fear. History shows that they may be successful for a short time, but they usually end up deposed or worse.

Most Democratic countries and successful businesses have leaders that not only have a sense of humor, but know how to capitalize on it. At President Ronald Reagans funeral President George H. W. Bush said, “Perhaps as important as anything. I learned a lot about humor, a lot about laughter.” We can all learn about humor in leadership from former President Reagan. Even his detractors acknowledged the effectiveness of his humor. When Reagan was shot, he helped put the whole country at ease when he joked with the surgeon prior to his surgery. “Please assure me that you are all Republicans?” and the surgeon replied, “Mr. President, today the entire country is Republican.” Reagan also joked with Nancy saying, “Honey, I forgot to duck.”

Abraham Lincoln said, “I have always believed that a good laugh was good for both the mental and physical digestion.” And John F. Kennedy was quoted with saying, “There are three things which are real: God, human folly, and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension. So we must do what we can about the third.”

So how can having a sense of humor help make one a better leader?

By not taking yourself too seriously people will take you more seriously. Employees tend to not take a manager or boss who is full of him or herself too seriously. If you act too self-important you are going to end up the butt of the joke losing credibility. Others will feel comfortable around you if you display a sense of humor.  Sometimes we become so serious on the job that others don’t want to work with us. Sometimes when we get a title in front of our name or a few letters after our name we become so self important that we create a negative environment. Does this mean you shouldn’t take your job and your responsibilities seriously? NO! Do the best job you can possibly do. But it does mean that you can still have fun while living up to your job and its responsibilities.

Maintaining a sense of humor can also help reduce stress around the office or in an important meeting. Humor and laughter can reduce stress, break the ice and help maintain a sense of calm in order to accomplish what must be done. There are always going to be stressful situations that is part of business, that is part of life, but the ability to find a little humor can help overcome the stress so that you and others can get down to what is really important. Stress can prevent people from being as productive and creative as they need to be in order to reach their goals. Comedian John Cleese said, “If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.”

Professional Speakers Take Control of the Audience

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006

A friend of mine called me the other day asking for some help with her contest speech. She is competing in Toastmasters “International Speech Contest.” An annual contest that is world wide starting in January and culminating at the World Championship in August.

She has made it to the District level which is all of Southern Nevada and all of Central California. If she wins District she will move on to the Region and then possibly the World Championship of Public Speaking in Washington D.C. Everyone from her home club has told her she has a great speech, but she needs “to learn to take control of the room before she starts her presentation like George does.”

I have competed many times in the past and others have observed that I get the audiences attention before I start to speak even before I am introduced. This is what entertainers call stage presence. Anyone can stand up in-front of an audience and tell jokes, give a speech, sing a song, but to be a professional entertainer, comedian, or speaker you have to have stage presence. This is what separates the amateurs from the professionals. Many call it the “it” factor. Do they have “it?” The question now is, is stage presence something that you can develop or are you born with it. Can Stage presence be taught? I believe yes and no.

I believe that you have to have “it” in you to begin with, but many need to be taught how to bring “it” out of them. When I first started I didn’t have stage presence, but I believe I had it in me. I was too nervous and inhibited, but I knew if I was going to make it in humor I would have to get over my nervousness and inhibitions.

The first step in developing stage presence is to get up in-front of an audience as often as possible. There is no substitution for stage time. You have to overcome stage freight. You have to overcome what comedians and entertainers refer to as “Flop Sweat.” This is that feeling you get when you are performing on stage and the audience is not responding to anything you are doing and you break out into a cold sweat. You may always be a little nervous on stage but you have to get it under control. The only way you can control nervousness on stage is by more “stage time.” If I go through a period of time where I haven’t been on stage as much as I am used to, I tend to feel more nervousness.

The second step is to know your material. If you are too busy trying to remember what you are trying to say you cannot possible have stage presence.  Knowing your material gives you the opportunity to concentrate on your delivery.

The third step is to dress just a little nicer than your audience. You want to be the focus of attention on stage. This goes back to dressing for success. If you are dressed too casually, the audience isn’t going to focus on you. I should say you don’t want to overdress either. Many entertainers wear a lot of flashy sequined outfits and that is ok for entertainers, but not for speakers. My friend Steve Pavlina who has a personal development blog also owned a computer game software company and when he would speak at computer conferences he said the audience wouldn’t listen to you if you were dressed in a suit and tie. There it is was better to wear a t-shirt and jeans, but for the most part you should dress just a little nicer than the audience

After you get over stage freight and you know your material then you can really learn how to develop your personality so that you can take control of the room. When I competed I liked to sit near the back near the exit. I would get nervous before a contest and want to pace or go to the bathroom. I didn’t want the audience seeing me get up a lot. I didn’t want to appear to the audience and especially the judges that I was nervous before I got up to speak.

Just before it was my turn to compete I would go over to get miked up, I would smile stand-up straight and walk with confidence. This is where I would start to settle down. I knew the audience shouldn’t see me looking nervous so I had to get my nerves under control. Taking a couple of deep breaths and standing up straight can help with that.

When the master of ceremonies (toastmaster) would start to introduce me, I would take one last sip of water so as to not have dry mouth when I spoke. When I was introduced I would walk a little faster than my normal walk with a big smile and look like I couldn’t wait to get up and speak. I walked and spoke with purpose. I would almost jump on the stage. Shake the toastmasters hand and then stand in front of the audience smile and make eye contact. One of the toughest things for most speakers is to just stand in front of the audience without saying anything. I would just stand there and let the applause die down. Only after the applause died would I go into my introduction. Standing in-front of the audience with out speaking shows confidence. It lets the audience get to know you. You want to make a good first impression. You want the impression to be of having fun and that you are confident. In the wild an animal can smell fear. The audience can also detect fear in a speaker. This can hurt your presentation. The audience isn’t going to listen to you, respect you if you appear too nervous. When I was doing stand-up comedy I noticed that the most successful comedians didn’t always have the best material, but the had the best delivery. If the comedian was confident the audience usually laughed, but if the comedian was nervous the audience didn’t laugh and even occasionally the comedian would get heckled.

I recently tried to give this advice to another competitor in the same contest. And she said her speech was too serious that she didn’t want the audience to think she was having fun. She lost. You can still give a very serious speech and show the audience that you enjoy speaking. You don’t have to be a grinning idiot just let the audience know you enjoy what you do.

Choreography is important. You don’t want to pace too much or just stand in one position the whole time you want to move with meaning. The trick is to make it look natural. I see too many speakers that are too choreographed and they don’t look natural when speaking. Their movements are stiff and it appears that they are thinking “when I say this, I will move my arm this way.” When I was in theater class the teacher would say a good set design is one where the audience doesn’t notice it. The same applies to your choreography, if the audience notices your gestures it may detract from your presentation.

The overall goal of taking control of the room is to be confident enough to be yourself in front of the audience, so that they focus on you and what you have to say.

Laughter Therapy - Recieving Laughter

Monday, May 1st, 2006

“Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.” Max Eastman

My mother humorist Tulara Lee, recently spoke with me to two different audiences about laughter and longevity. This presentation is part of my “Take Two Laughs and Call me in the morning – Laughter is a Wellness Program Everyone Can Afford.” These two presentations were important because this was the first time she has spoken in front of an audience since having a Lobechtomy for Lung Cancer. I believe this is part of the healing process, mom has been a comedian and humorist for more than 60 years, and receiving laughter from the audience is something that has been a part of her life. To be able to hear the laughter again was therapeutic.  Afterward she was tired, but exhilarated. She felt like the healing process was now complete. There is something about making people laugh that is cathartic. I know the first time I spoke after mom’s surgery I too experienced a very positive feeling. 

Mom started out very strong. Right away she started getting laughs and this put her at ease. I know she was a little nervous about the first two presentations. She was worried about tiring two soon. When you put everything into a presentation delivery, gestures, it can wear you out especially if you haven’t been performing for awhile. I was nervous for her. She was worried that she would run out of breath. She has been little short of breath since the operation. In the middle of the presentation her mouth got a little dry and she started to cough. I was worried that she wouldn’t be able to stop coughing, but she took a sip of water and was able to continue without missing a step. I was also concerned about her losing her concentration after coughing, but it didn’t faze her and she continued where she left off. 

The reaction from the audience was so good for her. She received a standing ovation. I once had a conversation with a fellow speaker about being received by the audience and I told her, “you know how well your presentation went by how long it took you to leave the room.” The more people coming up to you to tell you that you were good is a good sign. Sometimes when you speak and no one talks to you afterward you feel that they may not have connected with you. Both nights it took mom a very long time before we could leave the room. People kept coming up to her and telling her how good she was and how much of an inspiration she is. This also is therapeutic when people complement you that is great, but when they tell you how much of an inspiration you are to them that is just the ultimate feeling. If the adreline from speaking wasn’t enough the comments afterward were just what she needed. 

For someone who isn’t used to speaking hearing laughter for the first time when giving a humorous presentation can start to put the novice speaker at ease, but for the old pro it gives them a sense of self worth.