George Gilbert’s Motivational Humor

Archive for April, 2006

Casual Friday - Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes.

Friday, April 28th, 2006

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.” - George Carlin

“First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.” – George Burns

“The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.” -Marty Feldman

“If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.” - Dick Cavett

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” - Mel Brooks

“I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.” - Henny Youngman

“You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.” - Rowan Atkinson

“I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.”
- Gilda Radner

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
- Oscar Wilde

“He’s too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.”
- Neil Simon

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
- Dean Martin

Posted in Humor, Jokes, Joke Quotes and Anecdotes | No Comments »

How to tell a humorous Story

Thursday, April 27th, 2006

The most effective form of humor to use in a speech is the HUMOROUS STORY or ANECDOTE. These forms of humor are easiest to perform because you don’t have to be a comedian to tell a story. You don’t have to tell a joke. You are relating a story that happened to you to make a point, and if it gets a laugh that is an extra benefit.

It is important to remember that the story you are relating to your audience has to pertain to the subject you are speaking about. There is nothing worse than a speaker telling a story that has no connection to the speech. The audience doesn’t want to sit there and hear about the time you …made a fool out of yourself, or what ever it was that you did unless there is a moral to the story. You will lose your audience if you get off the subject.

We all have had humorous experiences that we can use in a presentation. The trick to relaying it to your audience is to sit down and compose the experience just as you would the rest of your speech. Just because you lived the story doesn’t mean you are ready to deliver it. Write it and re-write it so that it has a beginning, middle, and an end and makes a point. You might even compose a punch line for your story to add to the humor. You can even take a little creative license to it as long as the facts are correct in order to make it entertaining. Composing your story helps you focus on how to tell it. I have seen speakers get up and stumble because they couldn’t remember important details that the audience needed to know in order for the story to make any sense. This also helps to get rid of audible pauses such as: Ah’s, you know, right. These words can detract from your overall presentation.

When telling a humorous story don’t ruin it by laughing at your own story. Some speakers remember what is coming and they start laughing in the middle of the story. The audience wasn’t there when the story occurred and they don’t know why you broke out in laughter and they start to lose interest and you start to lose credibility as a speaker.

The best part of telling your own story is that you don’t have to worry about another speaker telling the same story. You lived it. You own the story. Many speakers tell stories that have made the rounds. I have heard many speakers tell the “Starfish Story.”(The starfish story is about a child walking the beech at low tide throwing stranded starfish back in to the water. A man walks up to the child and says, “There are so many star fish you can’t possibly make a difference.” The child picks up another starfish and throws it back in the ocean. The child says, “I made a difference to that one.”) Meeting planners and speakers bureaus don’t want to hire speakers telling the same stories. What would happen if the speaker on the podium before you told the same story? Would you be able to tell a different story?

When funny things happen to you make a point of writing them down. Note all the facts and why it was funny. Sometimes when something funny happens we don’t take note of it right away and then we can’t remember why it was funny. Start thinking about how you can tell the story immediately so that you develop your humor writing skills. This will also help you develop your observational humor skills so that you can start to think funny. The minute you say “Someday we’re going to laugh at this.” Is the minute you should be trying to figure out how to relay it to an audience.

The world is full of funny stories. It is your job as a speaker to recognize the humor and value of the story as it occurs.

For more information on how to use humor in speaking check out Humorspeak.com and its blog Humor Speaking Tips

Posted in Speaking, Humor, Professional Speaker, Personal Development, Speaking Tips, story telling | 1 Comment »

Humor and Laughter in Stressful Situations

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006

“Comedy is tragedy plus time.” Carol Burnett

Have you ever been in a stressful situation or had an experience where you said, “Someday I’ll laugh about this.” Maybe the time to laugh about “this” is when you are experiencing the stressful situation. Experts tell us that laughter reduces stress so, if you can find the humor in it at the time it will help you cope and recover from the thing that is causing you stress. I realize this is hard to do, after all if it weren’t a stressful situation it would be easy to find the humor in it. But when you say, “someday I’ll laugh about this.” you have already acknowledged the fact that there is humor to be found in the situation. You just aren’t ready to take the next step and laugh while it is occurring.

Maybe we need to practice finding the humor in less stressful situations so that we get into the habit of finding humor when we need it most. Maybe we need to step back and look at it from someone else’s point of view. Humorist Will Rogers once said, “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.”

Humor and Laughter is two fold. Humor gives us a different perspective about the stressful situation while laughter physically breaks the stress. Humor is mental while laughter is physical. Both have benefits alone but together they combine to help us survive tough times.

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Wellness, Job Stress, Stress Reduction, Personal Development | 1 Comment »

From Stand-up to Stand-Out - Know Your Audience

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006

Different audiences process information differently. Bob Hope was known for his machine gun style delivery, where he would talk very fast telling joke after joke. This worked for him usually, but in different parts of the country he didn’t do so well when he first started because the audience couldn’t keep up with his fast pace. In the biography “Bob Hope A Tribute” by Raymond Strait Bob had a tough time in Texas.

Bob Hope did so poorly he told the unit manager, “Get me the hell out of here on the first train. I want to go back to the United States.”

Bob O’Donnell, an unpretentious guy who seemed to hang around the wings while the acts were performing, came back to the dressing room and asked Hope, “Hey fancy pants, what’s the problem?”

If I wanted to play to foreigners I’d go to Africa. I’m not for these people. That’s what’s the matter!”

O’Donnell laughed out loud. “Son,” he said, ‘you’re in Texas. Don’t talk so fast. These folks can’t understand a word you say. Relax. It’s summertime. Ain’t nobody goin’ anywhere. So take your time. You’ll be all right.”

Bob O’Donnell was the head of the International Vaudeville Circuit.

“O’Donnell taught him a very critical lesson in comedy. “Know your audience. Sometimes it don’t pay to rush things. Don’t be in such a hurry,” he said, “Let the audience catch up to you.”

Bob Hope took his advice and the second show was much more successful.

Posted in Humor, Jokes, Personal Development, Speaking Tips | No Comments »

Laughter Therapy - Coping in Stressful Situations

Monday, April 24th, 2006

Robin Williams was asked in a recent interview, in the April 2006 Reader’s Digest, “Do you ever use humor as a weapon?” His response was, “Oh, big time. It’s a great defense and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn’t too happy about it, but the people around are laughing.”

Humor can be used as a weapon. As much as we would like to believe that old saying when we were kids, “Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” The truth of the matter is words can be very hurtful, not only can humor be used to embarrass someone, but can also undermine one’s credibility. Please be very careful when using humor. Just like a comedian should know his audience so should anyone using humor. Know the person you are using humor with. With certain friends putdown humor is perfectly acceptable, but with others it may not be. They may take offence to it.

When Reader’s Digest asked Robin Williams about humor having healing powers, he replied, “Healing isn’t the word. Therapeutic maybe, or cathartic. After being in extreme situations, it kind of brings you back to life.” I have a friend that works for a non-profit agency. Just working for this organization one would consider giving back to the community, but J.J. does much more. He volunteers much of his vacation time every year to help children at camp. Some camps host cancer kids, some host burn victim children and other kids with challenges. This can’t be an easy thing to do. Many of these kids have very special needs that J.J. and the other volunteers have to cater to, and yet make these kids camp experience as normal as possible. At the end of the week when the kids have left camp J.J. and his buddies get together to smoke a cigar, possibly have an adult beverage and joke about some of the things that had happened over the last week. Much of the humor is very dark or morbid; a lot of it is put down humor. They start making fun of each other all in jest and not used as a “weapon” but as a coping device. Meanwhile there is another group of volunteers that sit around and share touching stories, making each other cry. This is their way of coping with working with special needs kids. Once the group that shares the touching stories finally made J.J.’s group sit with them. This was a big mistake. The touchy feely group was a little offended by the humor that they used. Was the humor meant to be hurtful? NO. Everyone has their own way of coping with stressful situations and one should not be forced to participate in a way that is not therapeutic to them.

Both groups of people help these kids. Both make a difference in the lives of these kids. But each group has their way of coping. We should not judge the ones that use dark humor for coping after all they care just as much as the other group. Many people that deal with life and death on a daily basis develop a “Dark” or “Morbid” sense of humor. The Paramedics, the doctors and nurses, police officers, firefighter, and military personnel quite often use humor that would offend someone that doesn’t have to deal with the tragedy’s that they deal with on an hourly basis. I once attended a police officers briefing before they went out on patrol. The sergeant was poking fun at the way one of his officers found a dead body. To many this might have seamed insensitive but they see this kind of tragedy everyday. Humor reduces the stress of their everyday lives.

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Wellness, Job Stress, Stress Reduction | 2 Comments »

From Stand-up to Stand-Out

Monday, April 17th, 2006

Notes for Tonights workshop on putting humor in presentations.

1. The difference between stand-up comedy and speaking is you use humor in comedy to get the laughs. In speaking you use humor to get the Audience.

2. When using humor in a comedy routine or a speech it is very important to find humor that will fit Your Personality. Humor that doesn’t fit Your Personality is like you trying to be something that your not.

3. Don’t step on your Laughs. Don’t start speaking again until the laughter dies down.

4. When speaking it is important to check the room. Test the microphones___, walk around on the stage or platform. If possible check the lighting in the room.

5. In order to improve your writing and delivery you need stage times.

6. There is no substitute for speaking in front of an audience.

7. No matter how good you are you still need a place to be bad.

Types of Jokes

1. The Power of Three
The audience expects order. The laugh comes when something is unexpectedly out of order. The power of three gets a laugh when the third is out of context with the first two.

Example:
Smile, eyes, assets

My wife says there were three things that made her fall in love with me. My smile, my eyes, and my assets.

2. PUNS AND PLAY ON WORDS
A Pun is a classic play on words using two words (or phrases) that sound alike but have different meanings. The Play on Words uses one word (or phrase) that has two meanings. You use the word as if you are suing the first definition of the word and then the punch lie uses the second definition.
“Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.” Groucho Marks

3. Stating the Obvious
Life is funny. The humor is plain to see as long as you look for it. The funniest things are often those that are so obvious the audience catches on to the punch line before you even say it or they say, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“I stepped out for a walk. My girlfriend asked how long I would be out. I said, ‘The whole time’.” Steven Wright
4. THE UNEXPECTED TWIST

This type of joke has the audience thinking you’re going in one direction and then for the punch line you take a detour and go off in an unexpected direction.

“I’ve got two wonderful children – and two out of five isn’t bad” Henny Youngman

5. Self-deprecating
Humor where you put yourself down. Be careful not to use this too much.

6. Theme Jokes The theme jokes are all on the same subject and formatted similarly (like Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if…”). Another form of a theme joke is to use exaggeration (it’s so cold…, I’m so dumb…, Yo-mama….).
7. Humorous stories and anecdotes
Humorous stories that happened to you or someone you know. These are the best because they are true and original.

Posted in Speaking, Humor, Jokes, Speaking Tips | 2 Comments »

Casual Friday - Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes. Tax Day

Saturday, April 15th, 2006

“It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.“ – D. Barry “Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.” – Calvin Coolidge

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the Income Tax form” –Albert Einstein “I want to find out who this FICA guy is and how come he’s taking so much of my money.” – Professional Hockey Player

“it would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required.” – Anonymous “The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.” – Sam Ewing

“if you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead – if you strike oil.” J. Paul Getty “Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.” - Herbert Hoover “I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes…” – Mark Twain

Posted in Motivational Humor, Humor, Jokes, Quotes, Joke Quotes and Anecdotes, income tax humor | 1 Comment »

Laughter Therapy - Socializing with Friends

Wednesday, April 12th, 2006

“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” Victor Hugo

Today was a very special day. I took a good friend to our “Wednesday Lunch.” He has recently been in the hospital for most of the last seven months with complications from a stomach aneurism. Most people that suffer from this don’t survive. He has lost more than 100 pounds and is now trying to get his weight and stamina back. Not only is this a tough challenge physically, but it is equally mental. Every time it looked like he was recovering he would suffer a set back with pneumonia and infections. After multiple surgeries he is now on the mend.

I promised my friend that when he got out of the hospital when he was feeling up to it I would take him to our “Wednesday Lunch.” For the past ten years a group of us from high school meet at the same restaurant every Wednesday at 12:00 PM to have lunch. Sometimes we have as many as 14 people at the lunch. Sometimes there is as few as two of us. Who ever can make it shows up. This is a great way to stay in touch with friends and keep up to date on what is happening in our community. I called some of the guys to make a point of showing up, we have all been concerned for him and his family and we wanted to show our support.

This was quite the challenge getting out socially for the first time and can be stressful and tiring. I told my friend that I would take him home as soon as he felt too tired. The weather was perfect and we sat out side. There were six of us today. There is nothing more therapeutic than getting together and laughing with friends.

With in five minutes of getting to the restaurant and seeing the guys he started becoming his old self again. He started cracking jokes and laughing. One friend joked that he lost so much weight that he hadn’t been that light since birth. Everybody laughed. The jokes were flying and there were laughs everywhere. I am sure by the time I drove him home he as exhausted and would probably have to rest, but the laughs and socialization will do him more good in the long run.

When my ex-wife was recovering from her kidney/pancreas transplant it was important to get her out of the house as much as possible and go to movies and make sure that she had lots of laughs. When someone lives through such physical health challenges it is important to get them out and in social settings as soon as possible. Other wise they can become house bound out of fear. They don’t think they are strong enough. They don’t want others to see them in this state. This is where laughter plays such an important role. Laughter can help reduce the stress. And there is nothing more stressful that socializing when recovering from a long illness. As I have always said, “Laughter is a wellness program everyone can afford.”

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Wellness, Stress Reduction, coping with a serious illness, Personal Development | 1 Comment »

Laughter Therapy To Go

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006

I just found a wonderful station on AOL Radio called XM Laugh USA. This station plays live recordings of all the great comedians of yesterday and today. I have only been listening to it for about an hour and a half and I have heard classic routines from the old comedians like Henny Youngman, Mort Sahl, and Mel Brooks to today’s contemporaries like Jerry Seinfeld, Jeff Foxworthy, and Ray Romano. The comedy is clean and very entertaining. I sat around the office laughing while I was getting my work done.

There is something for everybody on this station; I am listening to the neurotic comedy of Woody Allen. I forgot just how funny he was when he did Stand-up comedy. Most people don’t even realize that Woody Allen started out as a comedy writer on “Your Show of Shows” in the 1950’s. He started doing stand-up comedy in 1960 and then segued his comedy into writing and staring in movies.

Before Woody Allen came on I heard a classic routine from Phyllis Diller. There is something for everyone. Unlike a radio station if you have XM radio you can listen to it anywhere. I haven’t laughed this hard listening to the radio since I used to listen to Dr. Demento when I was in high school and college.

If you have a computer or XM radio turn to this station and enjoy the comedy. If you aren’t feeling well or just not having a good day this station is sure to get you to forget your troubles and may even help you produce a few endorphins. This is such a great avenue for laughter therapy.

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Humor, Jokes | 1 Comment »

Laughter Therapy - The Benefits of Making Others Laugh

Monday, April 10th, 2006

“If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that’s my reward.” Victor Borge

Making people laugh is very therapeutic. I used to criticize would be comics for getting up on open mike night and using stage time for therapy. And I still do. When they aren’t even trying to be funny. I would see people get up and tell these awful stories about their lives that should be reserved for a psychologists couch. These stories weren’t funny. There was no real attempt at writing a joke, it was just a chance for someone to get up and tell the world their problems. I call it the “Jerry Springer effect.”

But making people laugh can get you out of your doldrums. The other night I appeared at an event. This was the first event I had performed at since my mother had surgery for lung cancer. I have been using laughter therapy on her and myself to overcome the stress of her illness. But the last few days I found myself not as positive as I normally am. Even moments before getting up on stage I wasn’t in the mood to speak. As soon as I was introduced I found myself getting that positive feeling back. I stepped on to the podium, stood up in front of the audience, and I found myself shedding away all negative feelings. The laughter from the audience made me feel good about myself again. I have been doing stand-up comedy since the age of 12 and making people laugh is not only my career it’s my mission. Becoming a motivational humorist has been most rewarding for me. Being able to make people laugh and then expounding on the benefits of humor and laughter has given new meaning to my life. When I can make an audience laugh, I know I have made them forget about their problems even if it’s just for a few minutes. Milton Berle said, “Laughter is an instant vacation.” Laughter is a vacation from the stresses we put on our selves. Like going on a vacation we go to get away from our every day problems.

Over the past several years not only do I get the instant reward of an audience’s laughter, but the extra benefit of members in the audience coming up to me to tell me their experiences with laughter therapy. I gave a presentation at the Bellagio in Las Vegas last year to the International Association of Building Contractors. As I was collecting my props several people came up to me. They wanted to share their stories with me. One lady told me about her son, who was a police officer in the town where she lived. One night while on patrol he accidentally came across a pipe bomb. The bomb blew up in his hand. This is not something you would think would be something discussed in the same topic with humor. The lady told me that her son was in pretty good spirits about the incident and one of the reasons was many of the family members started making humorous comments about it. At first she was mortified that they would joke about her son losing his fingers in front of him until she realized that he was laughing and that it was a way of coping with the loss of most of his fingers. In order to cope sometimes we laugh at very morbid subjects. Subjects that others would be offended by. Even though they probably didn’t realize it, joking about the accident was also a way that family members used to cope with this near tragedy and they felt better making him laugh.

You don’t have to get up on stage to reap the benefits of making people laugh. Share humor with a friend or group of friends. Call someone up, especially someone you know going through a challenging time, and tell them a joke. Send a friend a humorous card, let them know you are thinking of them. Clip out a funny article or cartoon from the paper and put it up on the bulletin board at work. You will immediately feel the positive effect of your mental state by making someone laugh. Making someone laugh is a win-win situation. What I have found is that sharing humor with the audience is your gift to them and their laughter is their gift to you.

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. –Will Rogers

Posted in Laughter Therapy, Motivational Humor, Wellness, Humor, Stress Reduction, coping with a serious illness, Personal Development | No Comments »